Scam and Eggs

NY Arts Exhibition – Publishing

2011-11-21T14:09:00.000-08:00

Imagine my delight upon receiving the good news that "Abraham Lubelski, the publisher of New York Arts Magazine, and owner of The Broadway Gallery in NYC and Beijing Arts Space in China" wanted my painting Elegance at Rest for his... um gallery? No, his "program."

Being part of this "prestigious program" would only cost me $1900!

But there's more!

Dear David,

I am pleased to inform you of an exciting opportunity to join an international publicity program based in New York City as well as exhibition in Broadway Gallery in SoHo, New York City.

This is exciting! I have never been invited to join an international publicity program. And I get to exhibit in the Broadway Gallery in SoHo?

Oh my gosh! This is amazing. My dream has come true. My ship has come in. I will finally have adoring fans. I will finally be recognized for who I am: The next artist that is better than Sliced Bread!

My name is Abraham Lubelski, the publisher of New York Arts Magazine, and owner of The Broadway Gallery in NYC and Beijing Arts Space in China. I would like to invite you to join our publicity program that includes an exhibition in New York City in January 2012.

You would like to invite me? Well, don't just sit there... invite me! We need to get this thing moving! The show is in January, and it's already the end of November! Your publicity program had better be good, what with only one month to go and magazine advertising usually having a 3-month lead time, not to mention ad design approval and all.

I am interested in your work "Elegance At Rest" and I believe it would be an important addition to our program. The intricate brush strokes and soft colors flow across the canvas beautifully, creating a truly sensual piece. You have a wonderful style. By paying close attention to the intuitive works of each artist, we are hoping to construct an exhibition of works that truly speaks to our viewers and subscribers.

Oh, you sweet-talker, you. You know how to say all the right things. With such flattering language such as "intricate brush strokes" and telling me how my "soft colors flow across the canvas beautifully, creating a truly sensual piece" really caught my attention and made me realize you really do care about art and the artist.

However, "by paying close attention" you should have noticed the large, bold, type next to that painting that form the word "SOLD" — and in most English speaking countries that means NO LONGER AVAILABLE.

How long have you been in this business?

With this program you will get one year of publicity, full page in NY Arts Magazine (sold worldwide in major bookstores), an exhibition in the heart of NYC, in Broadway Gallery, a spread in Art Fair International Newsletter along with a year subscription, for a cost of $1,900. This is a media driven event and offers both emerging and established artists the broadest media coverage possible. You can read more about the program here: NY ARTS Publicity Program & Exhibition.

No, I think you are misrepresenting the program. With this program you get $1900 from naive, unwitting artists. And I am not one of them.

I have been in this business for 30 years. When I started out, people representing artists got a 25% commission, and they worked for it. They printed drop-off cards, they advertised in magazines, they dropped by the homes and businesses of the most likely buyers, visited clients, called people on a routine basis. This is what they got 25% of my fee for — so I didn't have to do all that. I'd rather take 75% of a fee they secured than have to do all that stuff and also create the art for 100% of what I could get.

Then they got cocky and started charging 30% — some even charged 33 1/3%, after all, was I going to let my rep go over a matter of 8.334%? (Well, yes, actually I did — because he wanted the same split on what he was spending on advertising... he wanted me to pay him 33 1/3% of his expenses — so now I was to pay him 1/3 of my money for work I hired him to do, and also pay 1/3 of his expenses that I had no control over? That's when I fired him).

Then a few years later galleries went to 40% commission. You know why? "Because that's the going rate. That's what the Big Boys do." Every little gallery that anyone ever started up took this mentality, without offering the services the Big Boys do. The big boys have mailing lists of millionaires and serious art collectors, they throw wine and cheese Gallery Openings with stuff that's better than Cheez-its and Charles Shaw (their Shiraz isn't half bad, though), they mail out several color postcards, or enveloped invitations, advertise for 3 months prior to the show in all the major art magazines and newspapers.

Not every little mom and pop gallery does that. Hardly any do, in fact.

But they all started taking a 40% commission, regardless. And artists everywhere bought it.

Then shortly thereafter they simply announced they would be taking 50% commission. HALF of what I charge for a painting! My work! My effort. Some now charge 60%! Where does it stop? 99.9%?

And what do I get for a 50% fee? I get the reality that only the wealthy can buy paintings, now. Because these galleries warn me that I cannot destroy my investor relationships by lowering my painting prices 'just because we're in the worst depression this country has seen since the dust bowl.' Stocks can go down, HDTV prices can drop, housing can sell for less, but the artist is instructed not to lower his prices to make the paintings accessible to more collectors.

And then you come along and ask me to send you $1900 so I can be part of your program in 30 days?

No gallery EVER in the history of art sales has ever had to charge an artist to get their art on a wall.

Do I have Idiot written on my forehead?

To the art-creating public: here is the name of a mass-marketer, who does not do his homework, flatters his prey and lavishes praise appealing to naive artists who do not know you do not ever have to pay for good representation, any more than a model ever needs to pay to be represented by a good modeling agency:

Abraham Lubelski
Publisher
NY Arts Magazine
abraham@nyartsmagazine.com
473 Broadway, 7th floor, NY, NY 10013 | 212-274-8993

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Reply back to me

2011-04-15T09:35:00.000-07:00

From: joe hassan
Subject: Reply back to me
Date: April 15, 2011 9:08:48 AM PDT
To: drdarrow@gmail.com
Bcc: drdarrow@gmail.com

First of all, Mr. Morma, I must thank you for the extra care you took in making sure this email reached me. I have to tell you it might never have occirred to me to Blind Carbon Copy (BCC) the email to the same email address just in case the To: didn't work.

Not only was it double-safe, it was clandestine. That's how I knoew this was a legitimate, espionage kind of communication.

Just so you know, I am typing this very quietly, too. Shhhhh....

Attention Please

Hey, you have my attention! No need to shout!

I am Hassan A Morma, Formal financial Adviser/ Manager to Saif al-Islam Gaddafi, the reason why am contacting you is to help claim (US$5.347M) fund i managed to move out for our own use and deposited into a security firm vault.

Well, I must say, the name Gaddafi caught my attention, though admittedly, there are at current 27 seemingly legitimate spellings of that name beginning with anything from Q to G to a K (these are characters in our English alphabet which used to have rules).

If you can help, Contact me for more information. Because i told the security Company the consignment/ fund belong to a Contractor who ask us to help him quickly flown it out of the War zone and deposited with them.

This is great! Do you think they will believe I am really a Contractor? The only think I have ever contracted is a cold! And I don't even have a plane to help him flown the money out of the War zone. Are you sure I can be of any help?

Is anyone going to believe this? (I mean, I sure hope so... I could use a little cash.

Send your Full Name, Address, Country, Age, Occupation and Photo Copy of Your ID or International Passport.to EMAIL. smthjack16@gmail.com

Well, okay... I guess I could, although I'm not clear on why you wrote to me from a different email address than the one you want me to write back to. This makes things very confusing to me.

Oh wait, I get it... this is part of this spy-stuff we're doing. Right? Okay, my lips are sealed. I'll send the stuff you requested as soon as I receive the following from you: a picture of your family at Christmas time, a signed autograph of Gadaf...Quada...er, Kaddaf...however you spell it.

But If my offer is of no appeal to you, delete this message and forget I ever contacted you.

Regards
Hassan A Morma

Oh, right... like I'm going to forget being offered a chance to help transfer $5,347,000 out of your country! You're kidding, right?

Hey, may I call you Joe?

Order...

2011-04-13T12:54:00.000-07:00

From: Susan Welton susanwelton@live.com
Subject: Order...
Date: April 13, 2011 8:26:02 AM PDT
Reply-To: susanwelton@live.com

Good morning,

I received this at night, does that invalidate the request?

I was searching through Google images directory where i came across this sophisticated and attractive work of yours that made me keep starring for moments

I am so very touched that you starred at my works for moments. Besides the unfathomable honor of having my work called 'sophisticated' and 'attractive' I can think of no higher honor than having you "star" at it for upwards of 'moments.' You truly are a connoisseur of works.

will love to purchase one or two piece from you and i will appreciate it if you can kindly let me know if you have piece priced between $1000- $2000 because that is my budget.

You are in luck. I have 2 piece. But they are each $2000.
One is called "Single Brushtroke." It is yellow watercolor on newsprint, and is mounted to partical board with genuine library paste. The other is called "3 specks" and is entirely in graphite. Mounting and marterials are similar to the other. I will sell them both to you for $3500 including shipping.

I hope to read from you with weblink of work in my budget or kindly send me images of it.

I do not have these pieces back form the photographer yet, and have to have my website girl post them. It should be done in the next 30 days. If you will buy them sight-unseen, I will sell them both to you for $3000 shipped.

Lay Z. Dood

Artworks Purchase

2010-07-08T11:58:00.000-07:00

From: Trisha Allen tallencourt@gmail.com
Subject: artworks purchase
Date: July 8, 2010 8:17:32 AM PDT

Good day to you.

We don't really use that greeting here in the USA, but go on... I'm willing to consider...

I am so excited that I came across of your work on internet search,I am interested in purchasing these creative artworks from you.....................

I'm not only glad you "came across of my work" too, and I am glad you have the facility to use many more periods than could possibly ever be required for the single 'ellipsis' character.

So, anyway... which paintings of mine shall I pack up and ship to you, or the shipper of your choice, as these things usually go?

Slice of Life,"My Hiding Place" and

Wow, Tricia, I cannot help but notice the missing painting name following the word "and" — I interpret this as a clear sign that you want me to throw in a surprise painting, and charge whatever I want. If you're not a scammer, you'll certainly agree to whatever I want to charge you. That's the way it works in the art world.

Also, in your research, the two paintings — which you mention having found on my site and wish to purchase — have already been sold. But you probably didn't notice that in your haste to acquire them legally from me.

Let me know their various prices.and how much discounts are you going to give?I will be happy to have these selected artworks hanged in our new home in South Africa.As well,I want you to take out the shipping cost.I have been in touch with a shipping firm that will be shipping other house decoratives.

Really, South Africa? What a surprise! I have sold MANY of my paintings to friends of yours in Nigeria! Funny... everyone there seems to have their own shipping company. Needless to say, I have lost many thousands of dollars to your friends, but never mind that. I trust you.

I like how you respect my artworks so much that you immediately ask for discounts. I can only hope you become a collector and regular purchaser of my work. Especially since you are obviously a connoisseur of 'house decoratives.'

We are traveling from our Seattle home to our new apartment as soon as possible.On Paying for the artworks,I will be glad to pay you with a Money Order or Cashier`s check in US funds that can be easily cashed at your local bank,please let me know on how to proceed for the payment of the creative artworks.

I will await your advise on how to proceed.Have a wonderful day.

First of all, I will throw in an extra $25 so you can buy a working space key for your keyboard. Next, how about $12,000 (that's only $2,000 each!) for the three paintings I am packing up, none of which you have requested. And, to avoid shipping costs, I will deliver them myself.

Let me know how to proceed.

Take care,
Tricia Allen

I will take care. More than my share...

As Always,
Hooklyne N. Synker

Order Request

2010-06-19T20:17:00.000-07:00

Hello Sales

MY name is Johnny Walker!

Nice to meet you. May I call you Jack Daniels, instead?

I went through your website address and found some items i would like to place order on. but before i proceed i will like to know if your company accepts payment via VISA or MASTER CARD and if your company ship to Australia.

Of course not. Who in the world would take the little-known Visa Or Master Card plastic? And ship to Australia? I don't think so. There are only 10 people on that tiny island, and they wouldn't know what to to with the items I sell on my website address.

If yes, please get back to me as soon as possible with your website address to confirm if the website address is the same with the one i checked or better still, you can email me with the price list on the items you have presently in stock as attachment.

Wait a second. You went through my website and found stuff you want to buy and ship to Australia, and you need me to remind you what you want and hwere to buy it from? Don't you think that would make me suspicious?

Well, you are in luck my friend because I am an idiot, and I only want your money. I do not do my own thinking. My website is http://www.WhiteHouse.gov and you will want to look at the HealthCare Package. You may actually be interested in the whole Bill of Goods package. A lot of morons fell for that one.

I will await your prompt response as soon as you receive this message,i will be very glad if you treat this email with good concern....!

You have no idea how good my concern is. My concern is the best around. Want some? I'll make you a deal!

WALKER MART INC
1120 Swanston Street Melbourne,
VIC 3000. Australia
Tel 03.6344.4347
Email: jone.richardshopping@gmail.com

If you'd like to be notified by e-mail when a new Scam and Eggs post arrives, please subscribe to my Scam and Eggs newsletter. It's free and confidential. And there are other newsletters (art-related) that you may be interested in.

Highly Confidential

2010-05-20T07:41:00.000-07:00

This one is short and sweet, and has all the earmarks of a scam: multiple e-mail addresses, bad grammar and poor American English formatting of punctuation and grammar.

From: mingyang27@yahoo.com
Subject: HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL
Date: May 19, 2010
Reply-To: yang.ming16@yahoo.com.hk

HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL

I am under the impression that this is Highly Confidential. May I tell my friends at school? Some of them are really gabby girls, but usually when I tell them not to tell anyone, they only tell a few people, so I think we're okay. I just have to tell someone I am going to be rich! Please?

Dear Friend, this is Mr. Ming Yang from Hong Kong. I am sending you this message concerning a Business Proposal of 24.5MUSD and I want you to partner with me in this project. This business with benefit you a lot.

First of all, I do want to do business with you, but how much is 24.5 'Moosed?' I'm not saying it won't benefit me or anything, it probably will, but before you start asking me for my social security number and stuff, I should probably know what MUSD is.

Maybe I can't spend MUSD at the mall. I don't really know.

Please contact me back with the below address for details.
yang.ming16@yahoo.com.hk

This one is very different from the other. You must be rich to have 2 whole email addresses from Yahoo.

Thanks. I await your prompt response.

Mr. Ming Yang

Great. I await your prompt sending me the money! lol

Suzy Dumas

ORDER (Mike Williams)

2010-04-09T07:26:00.000-07:00

Hello there,

No, Hello There. You're there and I'm here.

I will like to place an order with you to my location in Japan, kindly let me know if you can charge directly to my credit card for payment.

You will like to? Are you aware your bad grammar is a tip-off to the fact that you are neither Japanese nor placing a legitimate order?

I have a shipper who can also get the order to my doorstep in Japan.

Don't tell me, let me guess... You will accidentally or purposely overpay me for my "products" (even though you have not specified what you are interested in, or that you even know what I sell), then you will direct me to pay you the balance by giving cash to the shipper you send, or making a check out to you and wiring it. Your actual payment will be bogus, and I will be out not only my cash, but also the "products" I handed to your shipper.

Await your timely reply.

How's this? I wrote back immediately. Let's do business, Mr. Scammer.

Thank you.
Mike

Yeah right. Is anyone in Nigeria named Mike?

HOPE YOU GOT OUR EARLIER LETTER !!!

2010-02-25T23:03:00.000-08:00

From: f_barrandreaw@yahoo.com.hk
Subject: HOPE YOU GOT OUR EARLIER LETTER !!!
Date: January 22, 2010 5:08:15 PM PST
Reply-To: f_barrandreawesq@live.com

Barristers' Chambers:
Andreaw Fraser & Associate
Tel: + 44 203 549 4105
Fax: + 44 203 004 2365
E-mail: f_barrandreawesq@live.com
Address: 33 Bedford Row
London WC1R 4JH, England

Wow! Why all the different e-mail addresses in different countries? You must be quite a traveler, eh? I guess being a barrister has its perks?

On behalf of the Trustees and Executor of the estate of Late Engr. Juriaan Kugger. I once again try to notify you as my earlier letter were returned undelivered.

This is good news! No, not the part about the Late Freddy Krugger, or whatever his name is... Thanks for letting me know I am not receiving all your other letter. My mom has been writing to me and all her letter were returned, too. Personally, I think it has to do with her use of plurals. But never mind that.

I wish to notify you that late Engr. Juriaan Kugger made you a beneficiary to his WILL.

Okay, I don't mean to offend you or anything, but I am suspicious (a little) about all this, because you keep referring to Jurrian as a 'Late Engineer.' Every engineer I ever met was totally early to everything. I mean these guys are punctuality freaks. Once an engineer friend showed up a day early for a party at our house. Sure, they look at their shoes when they talk to you, but they are never late.

He left the sum of Thirty Million, One Hundred Thousand Dollars (USD$30,100.000.00) to you in the Codicil and last testament to his WILL.

Holy crap, that's a lot of money. I feel badly... I didn't get you anything.

This may sound strange and unbelievable to you, but no doubt it is a life reality and true.

Your cunning use of the term 'life reality' clinches it for me. I know you are legit.

Being a widely traveled man, he must have been in contact with you in the past or simply you were nominated to him by one of his numerous friends abroad who wished you well and good.

Oh no... you don't understand. Krugger and I were like this. We sat behind each other in Great Issues in Jr. high, studied Chemistry together (I invented Cialis), were drinking buddies until the age of 9, and shared the driving across the USA on a unicycle. I am the right person.

Engr.Juriaan Kugger until his death was a member of the Helicopter Society and the Institute of Electronic & Electrical Engineers. Please if I reach you as I am hopeful, endeavor to get back to me as soon as possible to enable me conclude my job. You are advice to contact me with my personal Email: f_barrandreawesq@live.com
Await your prompt response.

Well, here I am. Send me the money. I suppose all I have to do is divulge everything personal about myself? By the way I have $25,000 hidden between my matresses, and I am never home between 8am and 5pm every day.

Yours in Service,

BARRISTER ANDREAW FRASER ESQ.
PRINCIPAL PARTNERS: Barrister Aidan Walsh.Esq Markus
Wolfgang, Mr. John Marvey Esq., Mr. Jerry Smith Esq.

Be sure to say hi to Marvey for me.

PCS Notice: There is a Gift Waiting For You

2010-02-10T12:40:00.000-08:00

In this author's opinion this is not a scam, but it is an unethical practice. You are trading your rights for a fruit basket. There is a law that is known as the "3-day cooling down period" law. You know, the 3-days rule to get out of a contract.

Under California law, a consumer can cancel a contract within three days if they change their mind, but... this law — this right — applies only to people who are 'induced to sign a contract by a salesperson canvassing a neighborhood,' and does not apply if the consumer made an appointment or invited the salesperson to make a sales pitch, or if you have signed the contract at their place of business. The law is quite limited. So, for the promise of a fruit basket of unknown value (or suitability for human consumption), the unsuspecting consumer makes an appointment to be pitched by an experienced salesperson, thereby giving up their Cooling-Off Period rights.

This is not illegal. It is done in various forms all the time. But I, personally, do not like this practice at all.

In my case, this notice arrived on my own front porch Feb. 10, 2010 in Encinitas, in the San Diego area. My notice was pink, but others have been reported with green paper. At its heart, it is actually an advertising ploy involving deception, which is why I list it on my scams blog — though I have no reason to believe, at this point, that it is a traditional scam designed to rip you off. It is deception, nevertheless. The deception comes in the form of the pictured pink (or blue) notice dropped on your doorstep.

In my case, I work at home, and I always hear a knock or the doorbell since my desk is in very close proximity to the front door. So, I always know when someone claims to have made an attempt when I have been home.

Second deception, the notice is designed to look like a real package attempted-delivery notice, and third, they use a pre-printed, 2-color printout using a "handwriting font" which is meant to deceive you into believing it was handwritten by the person who attempted the delivery. In reality, no one came to your door with a fruit basket. Only the notice.

And they did the same thing to every neighbor on your block.

How the scam works:
The reference number is a database code. When you call the number on the form, the operator (phone-pool monkey) answers and asks you for the reference number, which he/she enters into their computer, which brings up information from the particular advertiser that is paying them to get them new customers.

The phone monkey tells you you are to receive a free [in my case] 'fruit basket' from a [fill in the blank service] to introduce their services to people in your neighborhood.

This scam is meant to circumvent laws related to the No-Call List. They get you to call them, instead. This also, as noted, circumvents the 3-day cooling off laws, since, technically, upon making an appointment you have invited them to come to your home to make the sales pitch.

While I sympathize with companies who have a harder time getting new customers due to No-Call List Laws, and I sympathize with people who need a job so badly that they will take a job deceiving people all day on the phone, I think they should choose work that has more integrity. I personally do not use the services of any company that employs deception to gain my trust.

Here is the text of the notice for Google Searching purposes:
PCS NOTICE:
There is a Gift Waiting For You
Phone
We will call again
Your delivery was left at
You may call between
9 am - 7 pm
Monday thru Friday
Saturday 9 am - 3 pm
619-928-7753
We attempted delivery
of 1 Package(s)
PCS Reference # 01040 or 44539 or A1 / Al
This as our:
First Attempt
_ Second Attempt
_ Final Attempt
Delivery Confirmation:
Item
Signature
PCS Distribution Center
San Diego, CA

These are being spotted in the San Diego area, Scripps Ranch, Encinitas, Carlsbad, Oceanside, Miramar, Tierrasanta, Jamacha, Spring Valley, Rolando Village, Leucadia, La Mesa, Rolando, Mt. Helix, Imperial Beach, Pt. Loma and lower Orange County. If you received such a notice in an area not included, please post your city in the comments so I can add it here. Thanks --David

CONGRATULATIONS YOU HAVE WON A PRIZE

2010-01-27T14:51:00.000-08:00

From: info.notification-oficina@888.com
Subject: CONGRATULATIONS YOU HAVE WON A PRIZE
Date: January 20, 2010 2:49:15 AM PST
Reply-To: info.microword.notification@ozu.es

Spanish888 Corporation Promotions
Foreign Costumers Unit: Galicia, Spain
Web-Link : http://es.888. [edited]

Reference Number: MKQ/811/PPD

Okay, I have this odd reference number written down, prepared to claim my huge prize. Thanks!

Date: 18/01/2010

Wait a sec... when is the first day of the 18th month? This is America ver here, and we do not do dates like that. We stop at 12.

Does it wrap back around and become June again? I just don;t get it.

Spanish888 Corporation Official Final Winnings Notification

If this a Final Winning? Like, I can't win anything again? Or is this a Final Notification, where I can rest assured you won't send me any more notices ever again? Either way, I do hope you write back. There's a lot of money on the line!

Your email address has won, in the http://es.888.com casino automatic online sweepstakes promotions.

Hello!? My e-mail address won? My e-mail address cannot collect. My e-mail address has no bank account, and, frankly cannot even drive yet.

Your email address was selected randomly from the http://es.888.com automatic computer generated email online promotion draw, no participation ticket sold and your email address emerged as one of the online winners in Category A+.

You guys have an automatic computer? Sweet! Mine is completely manual. In fact I have to pedal just to get enough power to check my e-mail.

This attracts a prize of three hundred and fifty thousand Euros 350,000.00 cash.

Wow, I totally see, now, the need for an 'automatic computer.' Mine doesn't attract anything except other geeks who want to check out my power supply. And none of them are hot chicks.

I'll be I will be a chick magnet, though, with 350Gs of Euro cash. I don't know the exact conversion formula, but that's probably over 190 USD!!!

Prizes will be paid to lucky winners by our nominated paying bank and lucky winners that leave close to Spain are obliged to come to our office in Spain to begin their claim Legalization process.

This leads me to believe there are 'unlucky winners' by inference. Did you mean to imply there might not be any money available for me if I am not a lucky winner?

Also, I live in a small town in California, so that's the only place I leave from. I never leave close to Spain.

There has to be some other way to start the claim Legalization process. I mean, we can't leave it in its current illegal condition, now can we.

For more information's, on how to claim your prize, do contact the claim processing paying bank operation manager via email or telephone including your Reference Number: MKQ/811/PPD.

I notice you use the possessive form of "information's" and a simple Google Search using my manual computer shows that MANY people have access to my unique Reference Number. Why doesn't this surprise me.

Contact: Mr. Abbal Bidson
Office Tel: +34672533162
Email: contactnet@ozu.es

This promotion is organized by Spanish888 casino to advertise and to promote our http://es.888.com website, and as well to encourage the use of the Internet and to promote computer literacy worldwide.

Well, you've encouraged this fellow to use the internet, but I think that I will stay away from your worldwide literacy promotion. You use the possessive form of "information's."

Which — as everyone know's — is wrong.

INFORMATION

2010-01-18T19:55:00.000-08:00

From:     kelly1000brown@yahoo.com.hk
Subject:     INFORMATION
Date:     January 15, 2010 1:54:33 PM PST
To:     kelly222brown@yahoo.com.hk
Reply-To:     kelly1000brown@yahoo.com.hk

Before I respond, may I congratulate you on obtaining both kelly222 and kelly1000 from Yahoo Hong Kong's free service. Did you also manage to get the rest from kelly223 through kelly999? Which one should I write to until we get this minor financial matter wrapped up?

Lloyds TSB Group
plc 25 Gresham
Street
London
EC2V 7HN
Attn.......

(Were you thinking for a moment there? Or did you forget my name? What is the meaning of 7 periods?)

My name is Kelly Brown,i am the Auditor General and computer manager
here in our Bank (Lloyds Bank TSB London).I have only written to seek your
indulgence and assistance.

Wow! Auditor General and computer manager? you must be busy. Were you ever an auditor lance corporal or anything lower like that? And what happens if you don't manage the computer? Does it send out scam e-mails?

I wish to make a transfer involving a huge amount of base 15,000,000.00 {Fifteen Million B.Pounds Sterling} of Late Rudi Hermanto out of the bank,

Hold on a sec. Are you transferring 15,000,000 pounds of the Late Rudi Hermanto? Or his money?

And why do you call him Late Rudi? There was a girl in my high school we called Fast Trudy. Coincidence?

he died a long time ago (on records),

Oh. That explains his lateness.

And another weird coincidence: Trudy died on a stack of cassette tapes.

till now the account remained dormant.

Well let's you and I see what we can do to fix that?

I am proposing to make this transfer to a designated bank account of your choice. Thus, for your indulgence and support, I propose an offer of 25% of the total amount to be yours after the transfer has been successfully concluded.

Are you kidding me? You'll pay me $375,000 for transferring all that to the bank of my choice? Sweet deal.

I'm going to find out what bank Bernie Madoff used, and have you transfer it to them. I don't think they asked a lot of questions, like "Are you sure this isn;t a scam?" So we should be safe.

Now that I think about it, this seems terribly risky and, as they say, "I smell a rat." I don't know why they say that, but they do. Anyway, I'm not moving any further with this plan you're hatching unless you agree to 26 or 27%. Do I look stupid to you?

Your full name and phone number/fax is needed in the first place.

Alright. I will go to the first place and tape a piece of paper with my full name and phone/fax under the entry rug, right hand corner closest to the door.

Kindly reply me stating your interest, and I shall furnish you with the details and necessary procedure with which to make the transfer progress.

I think you already have the most pertinent information. Lets proceed.

I am anxiously awaiting your response.

Oh, and I am yours.

My Information will be given to you in my next mail. Reply me immediately.

Please consider this as 'my reply you.'

Thanks and God bless You.

Regards and Respect.

Kelly Brown

Looking forward to being insanely rich without working.

The mediocre speed Dave

Keen to meet new people

2010-01-18T09:48:00.000-08:00

regard, sweetheart

Maybe it's just me, but that's an unusual salutation.

Well, I start with saying that I am a special girl!!! I am cheerful,
kind:hostess and queen.

Wow! I'll say! I have never had a queen write to me before. Especially the cheerful, kind, hostess-type of queen. I am delighted to hear from you.

I like interesting people, whose who can keep up the conversation.

Me, too, but frankly, I think that is asking a lot these days. What with the long time between e-mails and instant messaging, I admit that sometimes the lag bores me. But I do try.

I respect people who take responsibly for their words.

Do you mean that? I mean, that's serious stuff. Does that represent your heart? Your beliefs?

I like to enjoy life the way it is.

Me, too. Except for the death part. I could do without that, quite honestly.

I am calm, emotionally stable, positive and friendly http://first-loveall.com/alone/

Hey, that was kind of weird. You posted a link to nowhere in the middle of your sentence. It that part of your emotionally stable self?

I dream to meet reliable, clever, kind man and create harmonious partnership and have happy future together. I like home coziness and warmth of beautiful feelings between people. I value reliable character, diligence, intelligence, sense of humor, ability to compromise, ability to love, kindness, desire to find a partner in life, sincerity.

Well, I don't have any of that, but I have lots of money and I am looking for someone to spend it on in trade for long walks on the beach, holding hands, drinking piña coladas and getting caught in the rain. Fortunately, you admire compromise. Are you willing to give all of those things up for money?

my turtledove, Having good time!

Yes, Having good time to you, too, my sea urchin.

Turtle Dave

PS - I feel a little bit 'not so special' knowing you wrote this to many other people. Please, reassure me by writing back to tell me that this is not actually a scam letter written by a man in Nigeria who will send me a picture of some random beautiful woman scraped off the internet, claiming to be her, and then developing a relationship with me, then pleading for a little bit of money, and then more and more, and so on.

Not that I don't trust you.

Paypal Money Request

2009-07-29T16:40:00.000-07:00

Here's a new angle...

I got a legitimate Paypal Money Request from Cris Carriaga (cris_carriaga2006@yahoo.com) today. It was for $5 and the "details" said "Book Donation."

I have no idea who this person is.

I wrote back:

Huh?

Why do you want my money?

I received a response today, as well:

It is only for donation

our library needs new books

hope you donate

thanks you

God Bless

I guess he thought I would just pay it out without asking. I wonder how well that one is working...

From Nina Douala

2009-05-14T05:40:00.001-07:00

The Scam Letter

From: Nina Douala <sandra_konne110@yahoo.co.jp>
Subject: From Nina Douala
Date: May 14, 2009 5:35:48 AM PDT
To: ninadou4u@yahoo.co.jp
Reply-To: ninadou4u@yahoo.co.jp

Dear One,

Good day I am Nina Douala.

So, is this a secret deal, Nina? I noticed you are using the e-mail address of Sandra Konne "110" in Japan, and that you have secured other Yahoo addresses in Japan, also, like that of some gal named Nina. I also notice you are sending this e-mail not only to me, but also to yourself. I am getting back to you, and suggest you also get back to yourself. I'm just trying to keep things tidy, yet can't help but notice this has all the markings of a secret mission.

Don't worry. I get it. This is secret... And you and I? — we're cool.

From Abidjan Cote d'ivoire, I wish to request for your urgent assistance in my investment plans in your base

How did you know I had a base? Your people are good. I have had a secret base on my Montana property for only a year or so... I thought it was well hidden, but maybe your people want to invest money with me to make it better hidden?

I could use the money. Do you know what I grow?

I am calling in respect of the transfer of money ($6.500,000) Six Million Five houndred thousand

Ha! I do that all the time. "Houndred thousand," "forty for" and "sebbendy sebben" are all easy mistakes to make. And I always get eleventeen mixed up with the number that comes before twelb...

united states dollars

Ummm... isn't that supposed to be capitalized?

only deposit in the bank by my late Father Mr Joseph Douala who was a wealthy Cocoa Merchant here in Ivory Coast.

I don't mean to sound like I doubt you, but how did your late father deposit the money if he was 'late?' Around here that means 'dead' and dead folk don't get around to the bank so often, given their condition.

I wish to invest this money in manufacturing and real estate management in your base,

Did we get our wires crossed somehow? I grow illegal herbs on a large property in the mountains of Montana, mostly covered with fishnet and leaves, and other forms of camo. Now if you want to invest in my 'product' then you need to address all your inquiries to my boss in Columbia, Juan Valdez who has a donkey, and they both like coffee.

this is because I inheritated an important sum from my late father who died in recent political crisis in Cote d'Ivoire here.

Cote d'Ivoire? I thought you said you were from the Ivory Coast. Make up your mind. Do I look stupid to you?

And another thing, $6,500,500 is not an 'important' sum of money. It's a frickin' boatload. Holy Moly! Do you know who I am? That's more than I make in a week!

Before the death of my father he informed me near his hospital bed at chu-teaching hospital, that he has saved the in one of the bank here in cote d'Ivoire with my name, and I have made every inquired to confirm the existence of the deposit.

Well, I am no doctor, but it sounds as though, since your father was in such bad condition, he should have been in the bed, not near it, and they should have been doing something other than teaching him how to chu if he was that bad off.

Nonetheless, I am glad he was able to inform you of the deposit, and you have verified its existence.

This money was been deposited for my social security and for fruitful international investment.That is why I need you to keep this transaction highly confidential and trustworthy person who will assist me to receive this money overseas for investment establishment purpose indurities and lucratives profitable ventures.

Hey, I am all over those indurities and lucratives. Seriously.

Do not, I repeat, do not invest in proclivities or monstrosities. They are not moving right now. Best to invest your money in my base.

I want you to send your full name so that I will go and submit it to the bank and I will officially make you my foreign partner and the bank here will endorse it and transfer the money to your bank account and I will appreciate it if you send me your direct phone number for easy communication.

Wow. Things are sure easy to get done there on the Ivory Coast. (By the way, is that where they make that floating soap?) I swear, if all I did was submit a name e-mailed to me and ask for $6.5 Million Dollars to be transferred, they would take me a way in a tight, backward bathrobe sitting in the front seat of the short bus to Loony Land.

But if you say so.

My full name is Terrence Kloth Boxers

Thanks and anticipating to hear from you immediately you recieve this mail.

It's "receive." Remember the rule: "I before E except after C, and in worlds with neighbors in the way."

Simple.

God bless. Please you can reach me through my private e_mail address nina_douala@yahoo.com

Wow, yet another e-mail address. You get around. (wink, wink)

Yours Faithfully.
Nina Douala.

Please, the faithfully is all mine. Talk to you soon, when I am rich beyond my wildest dreams.

Looking for Fun,Travel and Good Times.

2009-05-08T13:10:00.000-07:00

The original scam letter

From: Ludmyla <comercialn@ciadox.com.br>
Subject: Looking for Fun,Travel and Good Times.
To: <A long list of recipients, alphabetically arranged>
Date: Friday, May 8, 2009, 5:16 AM

My dear friend

Love is the emblem of eternity; it confounds all notion of time; effaces all memory of a beginning, all fear of an end.

Wow, that was just beautiful, I think. I'm not much of a deep thinker, but that sounded -- I don't know -- poetic? It sounds like you have a very big heart, and I don't mean like the enlarged heart medical problem.

Did you write that? You're deep.

Website: ***-the-reallove.com/****/ (edited)

I am beautiful, harmonious, very sexual, kind, cheerful person. I love children very much. Good company, kind people, animals and the nature are important to me. Very much I like to travel, learn new, to visit historical places, especially I love exotic places.

I visited your website. Wow you're like a model -- And I don't mean like in the miniature scale reproduction sense, rather like one of those pretty women that gets used by large companies to sell things like tools, batteries, cars, cigarettes and other stuff that one would not ordinarily associate with procreation.

By the way -- and I think I speak for most men -- the "beautiful, harmonious, very sexual" items are all pros, but the "I love children very much" and the "animals and the nature" comments might be cons. I dunno, maybe it's just me.

Also I like very much to sing, dance, float, go under a sail, I like to drive the car, I love speed, at the same time with pleasure I will drive on a bicycle, flied on a hang-glider.

Oh my gosh. You like to float? I haven't found a girl who liked to float since I broke up with my girlfriend Linda back in the 70s.

She hated pea soup, by the way. It always came up.

And, being an avid water sports kind of guy (when I'm not watching reality shows at 2am on MTV, of course) I like to go under a sail, too. Nothing beats the ol' going under a sail!

We have a lot in common, you and me. And I don't mean common in the homely people sense.

I, too, have been known to, on occasion, drive on a bicycle or two, but usually when backing out of a driveway without checking behind my truck first. You're the first girl I have ever heard of that actually likes that. Maybe me and you could do that together sometime.

I don't want to screw up our relationship, but I have to admit I have never flied on a hang-glider. Flieding makes me a little nervous.

I love rather an extreme.

I know what you mean. Me, too.

I am very friendly person, love dialogue, not the disputed person.

Well, I notice from your picture that you would be a very good mother to any infant (or two, if not more), so really, between you and me, the friendly dialogue thing is not the priority.

I am not the disputed person, either.

Never.

I love and be able is tasty to prepare dishes of any kitchen of the world.

So, you make nice crockery? Can you fashion steins like the ones in Oktoberfest in Germany?

I like beer a lot.

By the way very much I love flowers, gifts with all the heart, attention and pleasant surprises!

You love flowers. Well, there's my big surprise for the day... an attractive women who likes flowers.

I'm just kidding.

I do that a lot.

Well, I have a pleasant surprise for you: I would like to marry you, and if you want, I will send you $10,000 to get your affairs in order and buy a plane ticket over to my house in the Mojave area of California. The climate here is always the same. You will love it.

Can I trust you?

So long
Lyuda

Wow... that was quick. Over before it began.

I'm shocked, and I'm hurt.

Well, it was nice while it lasted. Thanks for thinking of me, and so long to you, too.

I will miss you. And not like the throwing a rock but not hitting you sense.

Always here, eating Cheetos,

Brian (not to be confused with brain).

ªÑ²¼¥æ³Î¥N¹Ô´Ú

2009-05-06T08:55:00.000-07:00

(Seriously! That was the Subject of the e-mail I got)

The Original Scam Letter

From: niehjane@cm1.hinet.net
Subject: ªÑ²¼¥æ³Î¥N¹Ô´Ú
Date: May 10, 2009 2:42:36 PM PDT
To: diymmogame@gmail.com

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Man! You eat with that mouth?

Ha! It's just a joke... see, there was a typo in the first paragraph, and it kind of changed the meaning of... um... well never mind... back to what you were saying...

Look, first of all, I agree with everything you said. Better than I could have said myself.

Really.

But just to make sure we are on the same page, when you said "¶r«æªA°È±M½u¢¯¢¸¢²¢·¡Ð¢±¢¸¢·¡Ð¢¯¢³¢¸(24H)" you seem to be suggesting that it all boils down to 24H, but my friend Bob was thinking there might be an error in your calculations.

Get back to me on that, won't you, so we can move ahead.

And here's the answer to your test question: A tall glass, two scoops of vanilla ice cream, some root beer and an elephant!

Did I get it right?

Waiting to hear back,

Poindexter Wizzard

Mail Order..........

2009-04-10T11:44:00.000-07:00

This scam has the most hits and comments of any. Apparently this one actually works on the uninformed, sadly.

The Original Scam Letter

From: collinoooak@gmail.com
Subject: mail order..........
Date: April 10, 2009 11:38:14 AM PDT
Reply-To: collinoooak@gmail.com

Hello Sales

Please, call me 'Soupy'

i would like to order some product from your store to mine in australia .so let me know if can ship down to australia so that i can email you the product i am interested in.

You are in luck. All we sell here at Soupy's Product, Inc. is product. Established in 1853 by my great grandfather, R. Product 'Soupy' Sales, as he noticed the increasing demand for product, we have been offering the highest quality product since product was invented. He started out with only 1 product and sold it under the catalog name 'Product P00001' and -- as you may have guessed -- we now have nearly 10,000 product in our product line.

The Product Board has just recently been discussing whether or not to ship product to Australia as this has been the only continent to which we do not ship product. By the way, the Australian people prefer it when you use a capital 'A.' I asked an Australian myself. (He was a handsome fellow with a cowboy hat pinned up on one side and kept going on about how my knife was not a real knife but his was -- his was huge! -- and kept talking about a shrimp named Barbie or something... I dunno, he had a strong accent.)

Anyway, if you can describe how large an order you might be placing for product, I may be able to convince the board that a large product order to Australia might be just the ticket.

also payment will be done via credit card details if you do accept that let me know so that i can place my order and the Items will be picked Up by my shipping Company at you store

But of course! Who, in this world, can do business (especially in the product market!) without the use of credit card details. Your having mentioned this consideration makes me really trust you to pay for your product from my store to yours. You appear to be a fine, upstanding gentleman by your use of credit card details.

Oh... wait a second... you have a shipping company, too? You are 'diversified,' aren't you? You are smart. We only sell product.

Anyway, to be safe, we'll use a shipping company I choose. It's better that way because there are some Nigerian scammers out there that order our product and then they overpay the invoice and then send their own shipping company to pick up the goods and they ask for cash back from the overpayment. So, in essence, what has happened all 16 times is that 1) I lose our product, 2) I pay my own, actual cash to the scammers, and 3) I end up with a handful of Monopoly Money.

I'm not falling for that again! Do I look stupid to you?
Nice try.

please Get back to me so that i can email you the items i am interested.

No need to do that... just tell me what you want from P00001 through P92007 and I will have it shipped from my store to yours.

address:21/49 Norcal Road Nunawading, Victoria Australia 3131
Phone (+61 ) 9873 7677 Fax (+61 ) 9873 7655

Thanks
Collin Oakley

May I call you Colon? Seems appropriate.

I am looking forward to taking your money for product. Thanks for your genuine inquiry.

Additional fake names, companies, and addresses being used in this scam include the following (updated as readers make me aware of them): John Smith (wow... good one!) magnetic0702@gmail.com, Michael or Micheal Williams, Mark Howard, Mark Donald, Matrix Store, Address: # 112 Victor Street, Chatswood 2067, Australia - Variations include the names Chris, Luda Johnson, Tom Marks, Kerry Wilshere or Wilshire, Gabriel Peters, Hiroshi Investment, 7th Floor, 3-24-21, Takanwa, Minato-Ku, Tokyo, Williams Company PLC, Access Logistics, Air Sea Road Interntional LTD, Allen Curt (allencurt@rediffmail.com), Universal Investment 10, Jalan Semantan, Bukit Damansara, Kuala Lumpur 50490 Malaysia, Rich Mccartney, Brad Collins, 21/49 Norcal Road Nunawading, Victoria Australia 3131 Phone (+61) 9873 7677 Fax (+61 ) 9873 7655, instyle.richmccartney@gmail.com, Instyle, Japan, ABC Logistics LTD, logisticsabc@hotmail.com, tweeners01@gmail.com, globalshipping international, globalshippingint@gmail.com, Mark Chapman
Fidelity Technology, Johnny Holt Inc, 1781 Swinstone St, Rockingham, WA, 6168, Australia, johnnyholtinc@gmail.com, and ChristianWell@yahoo.com.

If you politely inquire as to what products are desired, you will get a 2nd scam letter back with the following (beware):

"I will like you to get back to me with the total cost of the order and please do not include the Shipping Cost because the items will be picked up by our shipping Agent .kindly get Back to me if this items is in stock because I do not want any delay on this."

COMPENSATION OFFICE UNION BANK/ UNITED NATIONS SCAM VICTIMS COMPENSATION PAYMENTS

2009-04-07T11:52:00.000-07:00

The Original Scam

UNION BANK PLC
COMPENSATION OFFICE UNION BANK/ UNITED NATIONS SCAM VICTIMS COMPENSATION PAYMENTS.
ATTN: SIR/MADAM,
REF/PAYMENTS CODE: UNB/06654 $250,000 USD.

This is to bring to your notice that we are delegated from the UNITED NATIONS in Central Bank to pay 150 victims of scam $250,000 USD (Two Hundred and Fifty Thousand Dollars Only each).

Are you serious? There were 150 people that got scammed? Geez, I'm not such a dope after all.

You are listed and approved for this payment as one of the scammed victims to be paid this amount, get back to this office as soon as possible for the immediate payments of your $250,000 USD compensations funds.

Get back to the office? How am I supposed to do that? I have never even been there.

Do I appear to be so stupid to you that I would ever enter an office that says United Nations Scam Victims on the door? Look, just because I have been scammed into revealing my bank information to people I don't know previously, doesn't mean I'm going to just march right down to your office without a little more information.

On this faithful recommendations, we want you to know that during the last U.N. meetings held at Abuja, Nigeria, it was alarming on the money lost by various individuals to the scams artists operating in syndicates all over the world today.

I know! Those Nigerians must put something in their kids' cereal or maybe it's all the sunshine with no SPF65 or something, but they are pumping out scammers like nobody's business over there.

In other to compensate victims, the UNITED NATIONS Body is now paying 150 victims $250,000 USD each in accordance with the UNITED NATIONS recommendations. Due to the corrupt and inefficient Banking Systems in Nigeria, the payments are to be paid by Central Bank Nigeria as corresponding paying bank under funding assistance by the governments of USA , CANADA and BRITAIN.

Okay, let me get this straight... Nigerian banks cannot be trusted, so I will be paid out of Central Bank Nigeria, but really it's coming from the US, Canada and Britain (By the way, is that Great Britain, or just Regular Britain?)

Alright. sounds good.

Any benefactor of this compensation award will have to be first cleared and recommended for payment by UNION BANK PLC.

I'm sorry... I thought you contacted me because I was cleared. Can't we just move along with the compensation part?

According to the number of applicants at hand, 114 Beneficiaries has been paid, over a half of the victims are from the United States, we still have an outstanding of 36 scam victims left to be paid. Other victims who have not been contacted can submit their application as well for scrutiny and possible consideration.

I got scammed 2 times, though. Do I get $500,000? I don't mind filling out another application. Really.

We shall feed you with further modalities as soon as we get response from you on how you intend receiving your compensation payment.

I don't mean to put down your personal taste in food, but I don't need you feeding me modalities, or any other treats, for that matter. Just send me a check, and we're good.

Send a copy of your response and payment code to our remittance officer:

NAME: Mr Moses Ade
SCAMMED VICTIMS /REF/PAYMENTS CODE:
UNB/06654 $250,000 USD.
EMAIL:unionbank.compensation@yahoo.com

Okay, well, since you sent me my own Payment Code in the above e-mail, I will retype it for you here: UNB/06654

Below you will find my response, and a copy of the response, as requested:

"This is awesome!"
COPY: "This is awesome!"

Yours Faithfully,

Mrs. Margaret Daniel

Are you any relation to Dr. Goodluck Uba?

Your Payment is Ready

2009-04-07T08:22:00.001-07:00

The Original Scam Letter

新しいメールアドレス： dr_goodluckubawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww@yahoo.co.jp

Attn: Beneficiary,

Dear Dr. Uba, (may I call you Goodluck? It seems appropriate, somehow, with this notice of new riches for me).

First of all, let me congratulate you on you splendid use of foreign characters in your e-mail to me. Is that Japanese? You must have a different version of the Apple Keyboard than I do, because I cannot find those characters anywhere. I tried pulling off some of my own keys to see if there were any other characters under the English ones I have, but now I can't type certain words at all.

Second, I am amazed that in today's world with all the people clamoring for blogs and e-mail addresses that you were able to log into Yahoo and snag that e-mail address before anyone else got it. Nearly everyone in my Young Republicans Who Still Like George W. Bush Club got Yahoo e-mail addresses with 17 Ws added to their name. We thought it was brilliant, and so must have you.

And while we're being all formal and all, please address me as "Doctor." In future communication, please start with "Dear Dr. Ficiary." Thanks

It was resolved after the Board meetings today by the foreign Remittance office to release all outstanding payment of $3.5m waiting for transfer as we began this first fiscal payment of the year. You are to reconfirm your full Name, telephone for your payment.

Am I ever glad you fellows got that resolved.

Really? It's that simple? $3.5 Million US Dollars is waiting for me? And all I have to do is reconfirm my name?

Okay!

Dr. Ben E. Ficiary, MD, PhD, MDiv and Zero
(That's 3 degrees above zero)

I will follow the final instruction to telephone for my payment when you supply a phone number.

Hello!?

Dr Goodluck Uba

- Dr Goodluck Uba

I know... "A name so nice I had to say it twice..."

Hello Gentlemen!!! from Linda Znak

2009-04-06T06:49:00.000-07:00

The scam letter

Vous êtes invité :: HELLO GENTLEMEN !!!
Par votre hôte: Linda Znak
Date: lundi 6 avril 2009
Heure: 9h 00 - 10h 00 (GMT+00:00)

Lieu: Hello Dearest,

Now hold on there a sec. Do we even know each other?

The reason why I have not found the love of my life is because the love of my life has not found me yet!

Well, you're onto a great solution: you mass-email thousands of people across the only known planet where humans live. The quality of man you will find among the recipients who believe you are interested in them should be the perfect match for your level of integrity. I'm sure once you find the right match with whom to share your special gift, you will both contribute greatly to the deep end of the gene pool.

I am a very positive person.

What happened? Lose an electron?

(That's just a joke.)

You'll like me. I am funny like that a lot.

Never give up until the plan changes.

Um... that is kinda what giving up is...

I am cheerful, kindhearted and responsible.

Like you need to tell me. I could sense your level of responsibility the moment I opened your e-mail addressed to thousands. Some of whom have women's names.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I do not have bad habits

except chronic personal myopia

and I am always a good company.

then may I just call you Ford from now on?

I like music and animals.

Have you seen Disney's Jungle Book?

I want to make this life beautiful!

Maybe it's time to 'fees-up on what you did to screw up your former one

I want an honest man to share quality time with enjoying life we live. I like to open doors, hold hands.

So in your former life, you didn't get to open doors and hold hands much? The two activities, while certainly essential to a healthy relationship are somewhat mutually exclusive.

I am looking for One Good Man who is looking for One Good Woman

Therein lies the problem. The men who respond to this spam solicitation are not looking for One Good Woman.

At least not for longer than an hour.

These kind of guys are looking for Many Good Women, and their standards are somewhat flexible.

My name is Linda, a pretty girl from Sierra Leone but lives in Dakar-Senegal.

Well, Linda, being a guy and all, of course I will just take your word that you are pretty.

Dakar? Hey, that's really far away. Were you thinking I should leave my job and family and all my friends here in America to join you there? Maybe you could send me your mailing address so I can zoom in on your house in Dakar on Google Maps. I'm pretty sure I can find it.

Am approaching you for a genuine friendship and a partnership I Got your contact through my serious searching for a honest partner,

They call your method "dredging" where I come from.

Don't get me wrong, I am still flattered.

Your contacts was so nice and i felt that we can be partners in my entire life, viewing your contact alone,

You must have seen an old picture. I wear bifocals, now

i see the source of my life and i know that coming to you will create a great happiness in my living ,so i felt we could start from friendship. Who knows, something greater may come up in time to come if you don't mind, for more of my introduction and to let you know more about my self.

How about I just empty my bank account and send it all to you now, so we can avoid all this needless chit-chat.

Tell me about yourself as you reply to this Email

To be perfectly Frank, I am looking for a woman who is really a man from Nigeria using e-mail address harvesters and the French installation of Yahoo to scam Americans out of their life savings.

We may be a perfect match.

linda.znak@yahoo.fr
Permit me to drop for the moment, i hope to hear from you soonest.

Yours Truly Linda
Well, Linda, feel free to drop for the moment. In fact drop for a lifetime. I'm flexible.

By the way, send me a picture of you in your finest Dakar disco wear.

I will send you a picture of me in a working on my car on front of the double-wide when I get back from Wal-mart.

--Junior

Microword Corporations

2009-03-31T12:30:00.000-07:00

Today's Scam Letter

MICROWORD CORPORATIONS:
CUSTOMER SERVICE, MADRID SPAIN
REFERENCE NUMBER: XLA/JNP/E-6587
BATCH NUMBER: 2008/430/CA
LINK: http://www.microword.com/

OFFICIAL WINNING NOTIFICATION.

We are pleased to inform you of the released results of the Sweepstakes Promotion organized by Microword Corporations, in conjunction with the foundation for the promotion of software products, held this March, 2009 here in Madrid, Spain. Where your email address emerged as one of the online winning emails, in the 3rd category and therefore attracted a cash award of 450,000.00 (Four Hundred and Fifty Thousand Euros Only) and a Toshiba laptop.

This is incredible! Was I entered into the contest by buying a Microword product? I mean, I installed a copy of my friend's software on my computer that was made by that corporation: Windows View, or Vista or something. Is that your company? Do you know Bill Gates (is that his name, the rich guy?)?

I was unaware of the foundation for the promotion of software products. Is this some kind of a solicitation for me to donate to that foundation?

And if the 3rd category wins $450,000 Euros and a Toshiba laptop, what do the other categories win?

Can I even use Euros here? I am in America and we use "dollars" (they do in Canada, too, but not US dollars).

Oh, and why do I get $450,000 Euros and a Toshiba laptop. I mean, not that I won't take the computer (is it new?) but I think I can actually buy one or two of those with that kind of money!!! Right??? Haha!

To begin your claim, file the release of your winning by contacting our Foreign Transfer Manager via email or by telephone below.

Mr. Bobby Williams
Tel/ 0034 645 749 452
Fax/ 0034 911 817 496
Email: microword.winnersinfo@gmail.com

I hate to sound picky, but those don't even look like phone numbers, so that's why I am writing to you instead. Frankly, those look like lottery numbers or the 'key' I had to type in to get Windows View to work.

This Email Lottery is sponsored by Microword Corporations and all the members of MSFT Word Resource Consortium Software Promotion Companies including Intel Group, Toshiba and Dell Computers. This internet E-mail draw is held periodically and is organized to encourage the use of the Internet and promote computer literacy worldwide.

I'm glad Microword is heading this up. They have a great reputation. I know their stuff really good.

How come I didn't win something from Dell? Are you holding out on me? I actually like Dell better than Toshiba, cuz Dell is made in America. Nothing against your country Europe.

Congratulations!!

Sincerely,

Mrs.Yolanda Fernando
Promotions Manager

Thank you Mrs. Fernando (can I call you Yolanda? I love the español sound of that!) Get back to me soon!

Hello

2009-03-20T04:20:00.000-07:00

The Scam Letter As it Arrived

[My replies inserted]

From: infonoreply@deltalloyd.nl
Subject: Hello
Date: March 17, 2009 9:55:28 AM PDT
To:undisclosed-recipients:;
Reply-To: jacobklaas@aol.nl

Hello,

My name is Jacob Klaas I work as an international auditor for the delta lloyd Bank (ALM) Asset Liability Managerial department monitoring five branches including Singapore, Belgium and Netherlands.

Hey, nice to meet you. Can I call you Jake? Wonderful of you to write to me and a presumably large number of 'unknown recipients' with this 'offer.' Don't you guys know that one of the tip-offs regarding scam letters like yours is the obvious fact that you're mailing the same thing to so many people?

Another clue is that you claim to have an important position in a bank that has several branches, but you forget to capitalize the name of your bank. "Hello," indeed.

And really, while we're on it, what's with an e-mail message subject: "Hello"?

Is that considered original? Congenial? Inviting? Everyone I know says Hello.

I have taken pains to find your contact through personal

Through personal what? That's all you're giving me at this time?

Is this the bait?

Come on... I am left to wonder: through personal... problems? tragedy? classified ads? space? hygiene?

'I just gots to know...'

I have a business proposal for you

Okay... I will take it.

You got me.

I'll bite.

How about you and I become partners immediately. Let's split everything 50/50. I don't know you, and you don't know me, but we've already got a rapport built on trust, so let's go for it.

Yours truly,

(as if you needed to tell me)

Jacob Klaas.

Any relations to "Santa?"

Hope You Receive This Message!!!

2009-03-04T11:34:00.000-08:00

The Original Scam Letter

From: teddywilliams@yahoo.com.hk
Subject: Hope you receive this message!!!
Date: March 3, 2009 4:53:17 PM PST
Reply-To: teddywilliams@yahoo.com.hk

Hope you receive this message!!!

And I hope you receive my answer!!! I am not sure whether to write back to your Yahoo Hong Kong address above or the AOL address, below...

On behalf of the Trustees and Executor of the estate of Late Engr.Jьrge Krьgger.

Wow... I am certain I would remember a name like that.

I once again try to notify you as my earlier letter were returned undelivered.
So you wrote to the same e-mail address again? I guess second time's a charm...

I wish to notify you that late Engr. Jьrge Krьgger made you a beneficiary to his WILL. He left the sum of Thirty Million, One Hundred Thousand Dollars (USD$30,100.000.00) to you in the Codicil and last testament to his WILL.

I have a strong inclination to regard this as good news. However, I am a little confused by your use of double decimal points in the above. I will reserve my excitement pending further clarification. Upon receipt of a properly placed comma, I will resume elation.

This may sound strange and unbelievable to you, but it is real and true.
Well, it does... but your reassurance using the words "real" and "true" has a settling effect on any dubiousness on my part.

Being a widely traveled man, he must have been in contact with you in the past or simply you were nominated to him by one of his numerous friends abroad who wished you good.

You're probably right. Being a thinly traveled man, myself (I remain at home in the dark, day after day with my books and my cats) I may have actually met him if he managed to drop by my flat. Anyone who wishes me good is a friend of mine, regardless of their grammar.

Engr. Jьrge Krьgger until his death was a member of the Helicopter Society and the Institute of Electronic & Electrical Engineers.

The Helicopter Society? I was with them when they merged with the Dirigible Society! We have a lot in common!

Please if I reach you as I am hopeful, endeavor to get back to me as soon as possible to enable me conclude my job.

I promise if you reach me, you will be the first to know. I look forward to you reaching me.

You are advice to contact me with my personal email: wllbrrtddy@aim.com
Await your prompt response.

And you are advice to get a thesaurus and a decent handle on the English language before you try this stuff on any American again.

Yours in Service,
BARRISTER TEDDY WILLIAMS ESQ.
PRINCIPAL PARTNERS: Barrister Aidan Walsh.Esq Markus
Wolfgang, Mr. John Marvey Esq., Mr. Jerry Smith Esq.

Re-Notifying you Again

2009-02-04T06:59:00.000-08:00

The Scam Letter from John Mcgowan Jr.

johnmcgowanjjr@gmail.com
Get Back To Me For More Details.

We wish to notify you again that you were listed as an heir to the total sum of Ten Million Six Hundred Thousand British pounds in the codicil and last testament of the deceased. Name now withheld since this is our second letter to you. We contacted you because you bear the surname identity and therefore can present you as the heir to the inheritance.

Wow! Somehow I missed your first letter, and I realize now, that this is important! Thanks for writing again. I swear I didn't get the first letter. How did I miss it.

I am an heir to the inheritance? Does that mean I inherit the inheritance as an heir? Or am I just an heir to the inheritance without inheriting the inheritance? Please explain.

Anyway, I don't care if the poor sap's surname is Rumpelstiltskin. He's dead, and his name won't get him a cup of Earl Grey anywhere in London, now. If you have connected him to me, that's enough evidence as far as I am concerned.

Like my friend Jerry says, "Show me the money!"

We therefore reckoned that you could receive these funds as you are qualified by your name identity.

And I reckon you are right. And I am fixin' to take that money.

All the legal papers will be processed in your acceptance. In your acceptance of this deal, we request that you kindly forward to us your letter of acceptance; your current telephone and fax numbers and a forwarding address to enable us file necessary documents at our high court probate division for the release of this sum of money.

"In your acceptance?" - "High court probate division?" Hey, I have no idea what all this stuff means. I am no dental hygienist, you know? But if there is a sum of 10 Million Dollars for me, you have my full cooperation.

Now, you need to understand that I work at a job where, well, let's just say I utter frequently the phrase "and would you like fries with that?" so if you are expecting me to have a phone number or stable address, well, as my dad used to say "you've got another thing comin'"

I think that means, "You're wrong."

Anyway, I'm just joshin' with ya. But it's true I can only be contacted by e-mail for now, so write back when you get this. We'll figure out a way to "make a drop" somewhere. I come to the Library a lot to check my e-mail and see how my Etsy sales are doing.

Thanks.

Please contact me via my private email so that we can get this done immediately. Kind regards, John McGowan Jr.

So, I am writing back to you... is this your private e-mail? You didn't give me another one. I hope this doesn't screw anything up. Do we need to keep this on the down-low?

Signed,

Wilson 'Rumpelstiltskin' Phillips

2009-01-31T08:39:00.000-08:00

A Google-related Lotto Winning?

Dear Valued Customer,
Your e-mail have emerged as a winner of £500,000.00 GBP (Five Hundred Thousand British Pounds) in our on-going New Year Promotion.

Really? My email have?

I cannot believe my good fortune in having you extend the New Year Promotion to January 31st! You people must party like I do. Whoo-hoo! Oh, the booze and babes I will buy when I get my hands on that £5,000,000.00. It was millions, right?

Your Winning details are as follows: Computer Generated Profile Numbers (CGPN):7-22-71-00-66-12, Ticket number: 00869575733664, Serial numbers:/BTD/8070447706/06, Lucky numbers: 12-12-23-35-40-41(12).

Wait a minute, those are my actual Lucky Numbers. How did you figure that out? I have never told ANYONE what my lucky numbers are. I keep them only in my mind. How could you figure out my exact lucky numbers? I had formulated a scheme using a careful repetition of the number 12 in my lucky numbers. How could you know that?!

This HAS to be real! (When I was 12, I got 12 candles on my 12th Birthday cake! That's how I knew to have three 12s in my Lucky Numbers. It wasn't just a coincidence. I knew it was luck!).

Oh, and those Computer Generated Profile Numbers? (CGPN) That is just spooky. That is my exact Account Number with Lehman Brothers bank! How could you possibly know that?

Contact Mr. Francis Henson for more details through the contact below:

Mr. Francis Henson,
Email: giveaway.agent01@gmail.com

Another coincidence: I had breakfast with Mr. Francis Bacon, just this morning. This is crazy! I am so excited.

Awaiting your reply,

Kermit T. Frogg

Sincerely,
Mrs Johanna Maria V. D. Boogaand.

PS - I used to have dreams about a VD Boogaand when I was in the service in Taiwan... another coincidence?

EuroMillions Winner!

2008-11-30T09:46:00.000-08:00

The scam letter, with my response

From: "mvcmumbai"
Date: November 29, 2008 8:53:07 PM PST
Subject: N/A
Reply-To: ccsexpress_20@yahoo.com.hk

I hope I replied to the right one. the e-mail came from "mvcmumbai" but I am writing to "ccexpress" -- I hope I do not mess up my chances!

ONLINE NOTIFICATION DEPARTMENT EURO MILLION ONLIINE LOTTERY.
http://www.euromillions.com/

WINNING CONFIRMATION DETAIL
=============================
Lucky Numbers: 13, 11, 64, 88, 40
Bonus Ball Number: 30
Serial number 9987/08
Amount Won: 500.000.00 (EURO)
================================

This is incredible news! Those are the exact numbers I play EVERY TIME!!! Look, I have to admit I don't remember playing the Euro Millions, but maybe I did. My ex-wife says I have a gambling problem. But now I am the lucky one!

What do I do if I cannot find my receipt/ticket? I cannot look through all the little lottery tickets I have bought (100s of them!) just to find the one with serial number 9987/08.

Can I still get the money?

Your email address won 500.000.00 (EURO) in the EURO MILLION LOTTERY END OF YEAR CASH-OUT LOTTERY. To file for your claims, contact our delivery agent Mr Martins Handson with the details below

PAYMENT RELEASE FORM.

Full Names..
Address..
Country...
Age..
Sex..
Occupation..
Telephone..

MODE OF COLLECTION
====================
Via Bank Wire Transfer
---------------------
Via Courier
------------------------

Wait! How do I contact Mr. Martins Hanson??? I want to collect my rightful prize. I do hope you are not lying to me about who to contact and trying to keep the money yourself.

Write back to me soon, okay?

I am so excited!

-- Doc

I am awaiting a response...

My Greetings To You

2008-11-28T08:03:00.000-08:00

Note to regular readers: I decided to try a different format than older posts, more in line with how I actually write letters.

When many ideas are presented in one paragraph or, as is often the case, when the entire letter is one run-on paragraph, I "quote back" the sender's letter to them, then "cut in" snippets of my own responses. (My responses are indicated by a leftward, red, vertical bar) This is the format I have used below, taking the entirely of the scam letter but "interrupting" the original with numerous responses to "what has just been proposed.

The Scam Letter, with my responses cut in:

Hello my dear,
I strongly believe that this mail must get at you by god's grace, as I do not know you in person and not quite sure of your current tell/fax number for me to be sure, but I know how I manage to get this mail address which I used to communicate you.

Hello, my Sweetness,
(May I call you that? You called me 'My dear' and it makes me feel good.) You may be onto something with that god's grace method of mail delivery, because, for the life of me, I don't understand how I get any mails on my computer. I mean, no stamps, no envelopes. How do they know?

Anyway, the letter got to me, so let me know if you still want my phone or fax number and mailing address, otherwise we can go ahead and use the god's grace thing again to get me the money you're talking about below. Deal?

However, I am Mrs.Florence Alozie and I am working with the nations apex bank; accounts unit/telex department central bank of Nigeria. My aim of writing is not to know you as I have no interest of knowing you and would not like to know you unless if needs be.

Well, Florence Alozie of the nations apex bank; accounts unit/telex department central bank of Nigeria, I have no interest in knowing you either. But now I know a whole lot. If needs be (and I think we both agree, they do be) here's additional information about me that will actually get you to know me better, regardless of your actual interest: I am, as you already know, Mr. Bill Melayter, of the abrasive scrubbing department of the receptacle department of the septic waste department of the domestic engineering department of the Employee Micro-Management Corporation of America.

But I am telling you this based on my believe as person who does not like evil or cheating and would not like to be called for explanation as a result of this information I am giving to you below.

You have me on 2 out of 3. I actually love being called on for explanation, but I hate cheating and evil (not necessarily in that order), and for what it's worth, I hate evil cheaters.

As a straightforward person, I believe that any man/woman is my brother/sister according to my believe irrespective of where you must have come from we are same human being.

Whoa, there, Nelly. You completely lost me there with all the brother / sister / man / woman thing. Is there some confusion as to which group I belong? Really, I don't think we need to be discussing gender or sexual preference in an introductory letter. Whether you are a straightforward person or a gayforward person is of no consequence to me. Many of my best friends are gayforward. No business of mine. But if you saw, just as an example, the way they decorate vs. how I decorate, you might change your mind on whether we are all the same human being.

This information is as regards to your payment in Nigeria. Now as I am contacting you, payments are going on to those that are aware of this information because this information was not gazette to the public awareness.

Okay, so I am aware now. Please send the money. Also, did you use a translation website to come up with this stuff, because last I heard gazette is not a verb. But I digress.

These exercises have started for sometime now but there are a lot of pranks some corrupt officials in the central bank that diverted your funds to a bank in Switzerland. From the information, the secretary of probe panel and verification on contract and next of kin matters and the chairman of the committee and some other officials summed up with to divert your funds.

Man, I just hate it when corrupt officials get all summed up and divert my funds. Even worse is when the Secretary of the Probe Panel gets involved in lots of pranks. My goodness, what is the world coming to?

This information as a result of my recent departmental research and i called then to question but they tried to bribe me, but i refused because i am not a cheat.

Hey, you don't have to try to convince me you are no cheat. I can already tell by the way you have been so honest with me in telling me such personal things about yourself. Normally that kind of forthrightness is reserved for conversations with Dr. Laura, a highly esteemed professional in my country.

I have to inform you that your! Funds interest at a tune of usd$14.1million was transferred into a Swiss account provided by a fake lawyer portrayed himself to be your lawyer.

Whoo-hoo! (And I like the way you put an exclamation point after your... I really get your meaning [wink, wink]. I know how this works. I have had several fake lawyers portray themselves as my lawyers in my lifetime. Fake lawyers are like cockroaches around here. Not just in quantity, either.

I must inform you that the officers involved are always in communication with you , so you should stop talking with them and do not tell them that you are waiting for the transfer.

Well, that explains the voices. I knew they were real.

But I swear I never talk back to them. I usually just cower in the corner in the dark and listen to their instructions. (Recently they told me to vote for Ron Paul... but I didn't. I wrote in George W. Bush again. I liked him.)

Since we have an evidence at hand, hereby advised you to contact the authorized (C.B.N) security and finance company in Abuja whom are in control of your payment and the approved lawyer attached to the security and finance company in the name of Mr. Sunmonu Femi and explain everything to him as your file was sent to him on the 4th January, 2008 and when contacting the lawyer quote your file reference number a010-2007 he is the final stone that breaks the camels back.

Now wait a minute, here. You people have camels carry stones? I have been told all my life that it was straw. That's the last straw! You and I are not the same human being. Beside the fact that we would not be using god's grace to write to each other if we were the same human being, we would both already know that it's straw not stones. Now I fear that next you will sum up and make pranks on me for sure!

My advice to you based on this information is that you should boldly call Mr. Richard Orbed the lawyer at the security and finance company on his direct email telephone number .he is the person in charge of all the legal clearances for this on-going payment exercise and ask him that he should help you in making sure your fund is paid to you immediately and do the changes to move your funds to your original account and follow his directives. He might want to know how come you got his direct email, you can tell him anything (please, don? T quote me) but insist that he should help you in making sure your payment is done, and for more clarification or to ensure him that you really knows what you are saying quote the following code no: fgn/pmg/cbn- x342xtw2004 under category 'c'i.e. your code (please this information is classified). I believe that at the end of the day, he will ask you to forward your payment information and bank co-ordinates to him for his processes as he will direct you properly on how to follow up for your fund to be made to you without further stress. If you contact him I will know because he must contact my office for your information -confirmation records.

Excuse me Florence. Knock knock, anyone in there? How am I supposed to call Dick Orbed? I can't call him at all, much less boldly. Know why?

You didn't tell me a phone number.

You're about as bright as those people that leave messages for my on my cell-phone voice mail saying "Helloooo... if you can hear me, pick up! Hellooooo..." Isn't there a very critical piece of information missing here for this all-important call?

And don't worry about me quoting you. If I did I would lose every advantage, since English is my first language and no one would believe me if I quoted you.

So go ahead and call him now and don't be afraid of him or anybody, any person apart from him is definitely a fraud. Yours sincerely, MRS.Florence Alozie

Well thanks for the heads up on not talking to anyone but Dick. I am not afraid of anyone, but quite naturally I am afraid of fraud. Especially when people sum up to prank me. I hope this works out well.

Please write back,

I could use the money.

Sincerely,
Bill Melayter

Nine Hundred Million

2008-11-26T09:21:00.000-08:00

The Original Scam Letter

Reply-To: federalinvestigation911@gmail.com

Hello Sir/Madam

As you are probably aware, there are lots of financial crimes and scams going on worldwide especially via the internet. Many cases of money laundering are also being reported and it has been a big task to stop these nefarious activities. Most families have lost lives, homes and their hard earned wealth due to the high rate of frauds and scams that has been all over the the world. You are also probably aware of a Nigerian scam known as "419," which is mostly practised by Nigerians!

In other to bring to an end this wicked act and compensate victims, the Nigerian and United States of American Governments decided to set up the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) to collaborate with the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Washington D.C to fight these crimes.

Right now, US$900m (Nine Hundred Million United States Dollars) have been recovered from these fraudsters through our Intelligence network, and most suspects are still under our custody for proper investigations and trials. We are now paying compensation to identified victims of these crimes.

We are glad to inform you that you have been discovered to be a victim in the past and is therefore qualified for some compensation. The amount to be paid to you would depend on how much you lost to the fraudsters.

To file for your claim, kindly contact the Head of Verification Department.
Mr. Smith Terry,
Email:federalinvestigation911@gmail.com
Telephone No. +234-8077776399
with this information below for further clarification and screening after which part of this money will be sent to you through any means which will be convenience for you as stated.

Full Names:
Address:
Country:
Telephone Number
Sex:
Marital Status:
Occupation:
Amount Scammed from you:

We are sorry for any inconvenience and distress that the fraudsters might have caused you in the past and promise to remedy such ugly situation once you have responded to this mail.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Farida Waziri
Chairman, Economic Financial Crime Commission (EFCC)
Federal Republic of Nigeria

NOTE; Contact the verification office as you were instructed to the email above. This payment has a limited time frame for funds dispatch.

My Response

Dear Mrs. Farida Waziri,

I have to tell you that my faith has not only been restored in the government of Nigeria, but also in the scammers of Nigeria. Just when I thought no one in Nigeria had a drop of honest blood in them, I get this e-mail from you, and now my heart can rest.

You can double-check your records and you will see that the amount I was scammed out of was $85,500. And I mean "to the penny" (which is an expression we use here when trying to be financially exact, but probably doesn't mean anything to you if you don't have such a coin denomination, now that I think about it).

I am so grateful to finally get to recover the money I lost. My former friends have all left me, calling me names like 'gullible' (which isn't even a real word! ...seriously, look it up!) and telling me I fall for get-rich-quick schemes too easily.

Between being able to recover all or part of the $86,500 I lost in a so-called '419 scam' (I don't even dial 419 on my phone anymore!) and all the money I expect to come to my mailbox — in the form of about 50,000 envelopes addressed to me, each with $25 cash! when my name reaches the top of the mailing lists I bought for $25 each and sold to 2 friends and they told me they would do the same — my former friends will really think I am smart after all. I will show them.

This is not to take all the credit of course. I completely honor you for the hard work you are doing in recovering the money I lost. By the way, have I forgotten to say Thank You? Shame on me!

Thank You!

Believe me, after losing $87,500 in previous scams, I am all about getting my good reputation back. No more Mr. Stupid! No, ma'am, not me.

Let's get this thing rolling. (That's an expression we use here when your car stops before you get to your destination).

Below you will find my personal information.

I am taking a precautionary measure, following your lead. I am writing to you using an e-mail address that is not the same as the one I want you to write back to. That's pretty smart of you, and I can see how that proves you are not trying to scam me out of another $88,500 like the last people. You're just being careful.

I know my name and e-mail address do not match. That's the beauty of it. (That's an expression we use over here when we are trying to make an apparent error or flaw look like a good selling point. Think: Windows Vista)

My information follows. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Full Names: Knotta Sukker, Dave, Uhr Maggestie, and Nowitt Oll
Address: 12345 Any St., Anytown, NY
Country: USA
Telephone Number: 213.853.1212
Sex: Twice annually (in a good year, but that's personal, don't you think?)
Marital Status: Somewhat disappointed
Occupation: CPA and Private Investigator
Amount Scammed from you: $89,500

I hope to hear from you soon!

Mr. Knotta Sukker

About Oil Painting

2008-11-20T08:54:00.000-08:00

Note to regular readers: Technically, this one is probably not a scam, per se, because the spammer who sent this to me actually has a business [in China] selling oil paintings, but since oil painting is my profession, the subject is close to my heart.

The Spam Mail

Dear Sir or Madam,
How are you? This is Helen from Guangzhou Dengmeiying Oil Painting Co., Ltd. We are a professional oil painting manufacturer with 9 years' experiences, Offering 10000 various kinds of oil paintings and monthly output up to 1000 Pcs. Our own artists and painters can paint to your requirement. We also can make your own pictures. All sizes and styles available, 100% handmade oil paint on canvas. high quality guaranteed and competitive price.To know more about our company and products, please visit our website: www.yc13.com we have many high-quality oil paintings, please let us know which type you like, We will be happy to give you a quotation upon receipt of your detailed requirements. Hoping we can start a good cooperation.
Sincerely,
yours Helen
Website: www.yc13.com & http://yc13.en.alibaba.com
Address: Overseas Chinese Commercial City,
Gongyi Road Huadu District Guangzhou, China
Zip: 510880 Email: yc13-001@hotmail.com,
Tel/Fax: 0086-020-36991919 Mobile phone: 0086-15913120206

My Response

Dear Helen,

How am I? Thanks for feigning interest. It's always a pleasure to receive e-mails out of the blue by saleswomen who are concerned about my well-being but are not quite sure about my gender. For the record, should we continue to correspond, I am a 'Sir,' though not in the British sense, as I have not done anything as important or as remarkably world-changing as Sir Paul McCartney or Sir Mick Jagger. And also, for the record, I am not a Madam. I can't even get my own children to clean up around the house, much less get a team of young ladies to compromise themselves for my financial benefit.

But maybe you meant something different.

So, you are from an Oil Painting Company in China. I have an Oil Painting Company in America. What a coincidence.

My Oil Painting Company has only one employee. I see him 7 days a week, every time I look in the mirror. He works hard creating new, unique works of art. He has almost 30 years' experience as a self-employed artist. Oh, and he is also the boss. He looks back at me an tells me "Your raise becomes effective when you do."

I am intrigued by your solicitation of my business. That is remarkable marketing on your part to search the internet for web pages that contain the words "oil painting" and then scavenge the e-mail addresses so you can send them spam about your business that sells oil paintings.

Personally, I can think of nothing more useful than spending my limited art income buying paintings from a company that employs underpaid, method-trained human equivalents of color Xerox machines — who bring nothing to the art world other than a glut of cheap facsimiles marketed to the average trailer monkey that wants something to offset that octagonal, faux-walnut, laminated-particle board end table beside the Naugahyde sleeper sofa; something that will look nice as a backdrop for Budweiser cans and empty 5 liter Almeden wine boxes.

Did you know many of my colleagues have had their own artistic creations downloaded right from their own blogs and websites and copied — brush-stroke for brush-stroke, including the signature! — by companies such as yours, if not indeed by yours? When I look at the pictures on your website I am forced to admit it is difficult to compete with a cramped cubicle full of sweating Chinese workers making several copies in assembly-line fashion. I have never even painted one Mona Lisa, much less twelve at a time. By the way, my friend Leonardo painted the original. He was pretty good, no?

I must say, I like your marketing catch-phrase "We also can make your own pictures." Either that is just bad Engrish, or you're trying to throw me a hint that you will soon be copying my work. Thanks for the heads up.

They say Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery... Well, you guys take it to a whole new level.

There's a word we use over here in the USA for such flattery: stealing.

Please stop copying other artists and then selling them to entrepreneurs in America by the boatload so they can do Starving Artist Sales at the Ramada Inn. That just bugs me.

As you say, "Hoping we can start a good cooperation."

You can start by stopping.

--David

Project of Immense Benefit

2008-11-15T12:11:00.000-08:00

The Original Scam letter

Hello,

Please, kindly take your time to understand the content of this email.

I wish to introduce you to a project that would be of immense benefit to both of us. Being an executor of wills, it is possible that we may be tempted to make fortune out of our client's situations, when we cannot help it, or left with no better option.

The issue I am presenting to you is a case of my client who willed a fortune to his next-of-kin. It was most unfortunate that he and his next-of-kin died on the same day in an auto-crash. I am now faced with indecision about who to pass the fortune to. According to the English law, the fortune is supposed to be queathed to the government.

However, I don't belong to that school of thought which proposes that the fortune of unlucky people be given to the government. I therefore seek for your assistance in presenting you as next of Kin to the deceased being that you share the same last name with the deceased.

Please give your response to this email via return email. I will reveal other details upon your response to this email and as soon as we establish correspondance.

Reward is negotiable.

Yours in Service

Ambrose Hartman Esq.
Attorney At Law

My Response

Dear Ambrose,

First of all, I beg your forgiveness if my salutation appears in the least gender-insensitive or offensively less formal than that to which you are accustomed as it is my habit to begin such important correspondence with -- using your name as an example -- Dear Ms. Hartman or Dear Mr. Hartman but I cannot tell for sure to which gender you belong, and to surmise such from your name alone leaves some ambiguity with which to grapple, namely because, for a male, Ambrose is a decidedly sissy name in my culture, suggesting that, if male is your gender, you might likely have been the recipient of peer abuse as a child, which would explain your propensity for choosing Law as a profession, in my estimation. Additionally, Hartman does have man in it, which suggests a designated or presumed gender, but still affords some measure of confusion. Perhaps you might clear up the confusion in future correspondence by including a photo of yourself in swimwear or undergarments.

That having been stated, I must say that the details of this matter are, indeed, intriguing, but of course, hinge on the nature of what you mean by "auto-crash" (which suggests something predetermined and set into motion through some programmed mechanism and not manually-constructed, either of which have the distinct odor of murder about them)... with the remaining factor facilitating my involvement being the actual sum of said "fortune." As you know, I am an American, and it has recently been established in political circles that a "fortune" is $250,000 USD or more.

But, as we say over here: You have my attention!

And before I go on, may I tell you what a pleasure it is to receive correspondence from someone with such a remarkable command of the English language and our idiosyncratic grammatical nuances which, I must say, you have handled deftly, save one peculiarity in which you stated I am now faced with indecision about who to pass the fortune to but which might have been rendered better I am now faced with indecision about to whom to pass the fortune.

These are mere details, I realize, but I am trying to help. It is critical that all future correspondence be of the highest standards if I am to assist you in your project, and due diligence on your part is naturally a prerequisite to successful partnership with me in this Immense Benefit Project.

I will not question your assessment of this situation you describe as being 'unlucky' although the mere mention of the term denotes superstition in fairly uncertain terms. You must understand that here in America there is a segment of the population that occupies a large portion of our motherland, idiomatically known as The South for whom 'dying at the same moment as next-of-kin' would almost be a certainty since in many cases they are at once next-of-kin and spouse.

I know. Unpleasant to consider.

I can only conclude that the School of Thought to which you belong is an overseas Annex of the School of Thought to which I belong, as we are in agreement -- however we may each define "luck" -- that the fortunes of any deceased persons or partnerships in which identities can easily be manipulated and exchanged by those with degrees in matters of Law should indeed never fall into the hands of corrupt governments, but should rather clearly and irrevocably fall into the hands of corrupt but well-intentioned entrepreneurs such as you and me.

It is, therefore, with my full and untethered cooperation and agreement that you use my name in place of the next-of-kin in this Project of Immense Benefit. Please forward any forms for me to sign, via e-mail, at this same address so that we might proceed post haste.

If not sooner.

Eagerly,

Phil T. Rich,
CEO Munni, Grubber and Skumm

Yours

2008-11-11T12:33:00.000-08:00

The Original Scam Letter:

From: MRS JOY COLLINS mrsjoycollins@deaf.com
Date: Mon, Nov 10, 2008 at 6:24 AM
Subject: Yours in Christ

I am Mrs Joy Collins from London, I am 69 years old, I am deaf and suffering from a long time cancer of the breast which also affected my brain, from all indication my conditions is really deteriorating and it is quite obvious that, according to my doctors they have advised me that I may not live for the next two months, this is because the cancer stage has gotten to a very bad stage. I was brought up from a motherless babies home was married to my late husband for twenty years without a child, died in a fatal motor accident Before his death we were true Christians.

Since his death I decided not to re-marry, I sold all my inherited belongings and deposited all the sum of $12 million dollars with a Security Company. Presently, this money is still with them and the management just wrote me as the true owner to come forward to receive the money for keeping it so long or rather issue a letter of authorization to somebody to receive it on my behalf since I can not come over because of my illness or they get it confisticated.

Presently, I'm with my laptop in a hospital where I have been undergoing treatment for cancer of the lungs. I have since lost my ability to talk and my doctors have told me that I have only a few months to live.

It is my last wish to see that this money is invested to any organisation of your choice and distributed each year among the charity organization, the poor and the motherless babies home where i come from. I want you God fearing, to also use this money to fund churches, orphanages and widows, I took this decision, before i rest in peace because my time will soon be up.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Security Company. I will also issue you a letter of authority that will prove you as the new beneficiary of my fund. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein. Hoping to hearing from you soon.

Waiting for your reply get back to me.

Yours in Christ,

Mrs Joy Collins

My Response:

Dear Mrs. Joy Collins,

There are 2 things I must say, before I get into my response:

First, I want to thank you for such a wonderful gift. I am touched deeply that you would entrust $12 Million to my care. I know that this decision did not come easily to you; that you had to probably search long and hard for a person of my character who would not take some of the money for himself; that you could trust me with a sum of such enormity even though it would take me more than a year to earn that kind of money on my own.

And "B," my heart is filled with sadness over the circumstances of your unfortunate life. I noticed your e-mail address is coming from "deaf.com," so if there was any doubt that you might actually be deaf, that pretty much convinces me. I said, I AM CONVINCED! Sure, selling all the belongings in your inheritance and winding up with $12 Million is nothing to feel sorry about (you know, unless you could have used, like, eBay and gotten $50 Million instead), but that really stinks about all the other stuff in your life.

I cannot imagine what it must be like to have your brain affected by a breast, with or without long time cancer (and really, all cancer is bad, but I am led to believe by your letter that the 'long' variety of 'time cancer' is the worst). And then to find out that the doctors have told you you cannot live for the next 2 months... well, that's horrible. What will you do until then? There's a bar I can't go in for the next 3 months and it's driving me insane. But I suppose that's different.

As you must know through your thorough research, I am a biologist in the infertility industry, so you and I have a lot in common: You were 'brought up from a motherless babies home' and I work at one! What a coincidence! Most of the babies here are simply named, temporarily, "Petree001, Petree002" etc. but with the gift of a portion of the $12 Million, I may be able to convince the board to start naming them "Joy" after the transaction transpires. Sure, we make motherless babies, but that doesn't mean we don't have a heart. Also, I would be delighted to distribute some of the money to various churches here in the USA. The Branch Davidians are in need of a new facility due to an unfortunate conflagration that is loosely tied to a Janet Reno — coincidentally a babiless mother. Additional sums will go to the "Who's Your Daddy Foundation." I don't know much about them, but I like their name.

Anyway, I promise not to keep a dime for myself or spend any of the money foolishly. I may need to use a very small portion of the funds on a sort of Fund-Disbursing Headquarters... I was thinking a small 11,000 sq. ft. building on the coast of Malibu, CA would be nice. Additionally, new transportation would be great. The name Lexus is associated with fairness and generosity, so I would benefit from one of those. And a new wardrobe might be nice.

We can discuss the details later, but yes, let me assure you I would like to proceed.

In the mean time, you may want to transfer your money to a different Security Company if the one you have it all in is warning that someone wants to confiscate it from you. I am no financial genius, but this just seems like sound advice.

If transferring it to me seems like the best idea, let me know and I will get you my banking information.

Thanks,

David

Beloved

2008-11-06T08:55:00.000-08:00

The Scam Letter:

From: sagechickadee@cox.net
Date: November 6, 2008 8:20:35 AM PST
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
Subject: Beloved
Reply-To: paula_hamilton001@hotmail.com

Beloved,
My name is Paula Hamilton. I was married to the Late Dr. Edward Hamilton before he died on February 2nd 2005 after a brief illness.

According to my Late Husband, “Life is a misery and nobody can tell what can be of it; those that can tell what can be of it are those who cannot tell us because they are far from us (Dead)”.

Before the painful death of my Late Husband, he worked with the American Embassy in Malaysia for Nine Years before he retired and went into full time Ministry.

Before I begin my story, it is important that I let you know who my Late Husband was by stating vividly his philosophy of life “Life is worth living only if lived to the service of mankind and you can only make a living by what you earn, but you make life by what you give.”

To start my story, I was married to my Late Husband for Fifteen Years without a Child and since his death I decided not to re-marry, this is basically my own decision to honor him for the love we shared and the life we lived together.

Before the death of my Husband, we made something out of life and this I have decided to use in setting up a Charity Organization in Honor of my Late Husband.

The sum of Nine Million, Two Hundred Thousand United States Dollars (USD. 9.2 Mil) is presently in a Custody of an accredited Finance Company in United Kingdom. This amount of money was deposited by my Late Husband in 2004 and we both agreed to use these funds to propagate the Work of God.

Earlier this Month I was diagnosed of Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia (CML) and my Doctor has told me that I would not last for the next 6 Months due to damage this cancer has done to my system.

Having known my condition, I have decided to entrust this funds to a Honest Individual who will utilize this money in the manner at which the funds are meant for. Once I have received your response to this mail, I shall direct you to contact my Doctor for further clarifications and possible advice. Documents naming you the original Beneficiary of these funds will be sent to you as we are proceeding further in this matter.

Beloved, I choose this means to locate you because I am sure that I will be lead to the kind of person that will be totally honest with me. Due to my health condition, delay in your reply will not be of any benefit to me and this will propel me to search for someone else. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I have stated above.

Please reply me via email: paula_hamilton001@hotmail.com.

In His Arms.

Mrs. Paula Hamilton.

My Response

Dear Mrs. Late Hamilton,

May I call you Paula? I am so used to calling benefactors by their first names. By now you must know that I am known for being a very Honest Person, and, as a result, the Beneficiary of many such donations and grant transfers. To be perfectly honest, I think this must have more to do with my reputation as a portrait painter than my Work for God.

It wouldn't be fair to proceed in this matter without letting you know that it is likely I will not use all the money for the Work of God as you seem to be requesting, and will probably spend about 17% of it on frivolous vices, such as video entertainment systems, foods that contain trans fats, jewelry for my lady friends, and strong drink. Even such a Good Steward as I am has to be able to kick back and have a little fun once in a while.

What concerns me, though, is the reputation and pessimistic outlook of the Late Dr. Edward Hamilton, to whom you were married. First of all, did he have some known issues with punctuality, or was the title 'Late' granted to him posthumously due to his not showingg up for meetings after his death? And that first quote of his about life being a misery, well... that kind of thinking just throws garlic in my punchbowl, really. In the words of a Once-Disabled-American Forrest Gump, "Life is like a box of chocolates. You just never know what you're going to get. And everyone puts the cherry ones back," or something like that.

I find great hope in his words.

But anyway, I am sorry about your cancer thing. CML must be bad for you. In America we have a cigarette brand that is CAMEL, and it's bad for you, too.

Bottom line: if you're comfortable with me splitting up the $9,200,000 with 83% (or $7,636,000) toward the Work of God and the remaining 17% ($1,564,000) going toward my somewhat self-absorbed lifestyle, I would like to proceed.

And by the way, if by some miracle you make it out of CML alive, I am a bachelor.

Awaiting your decision,

-- Punctual David

PS -- You closed with "In His Arms" and I am wondering if you already have a new suitor, or if you're talking about the Late Doctor again. Please elucidate.

New Job Offer

2008-11-05T13:58:00.000-08:00

The Original Scam Letter:

From: Marcus Simon
Date: Wed, Nov 5, 2008 at 8:39 AM
Subject: Job Advert.
To: undisclosed-recipients

Hello,

This is to inform you that Children Support foundation is interested in offering you a part-time paying job in which you will earn about 3000 US Dollars per month.This job will act as an extra income for you if you are employed. The foundation has been in existence since August 2008 and aims at saving the life of children with heart and kidney problems around the world. We also ensure we work with the best professionals in all fields so that we save as many children as we can. As the Assistant director of the foundation, I am ensuring that we work so hard to save all the children with heart and kidney problems in the world.

We were just granted a funding to head a charity support project in the tropical regions of the world regarding surgical issues related to heart diseases and provision of basic amenities in support to humanitarian services to the third world nations and this would be commencing very soon. However, our funding were by our American associates that assist us by sending us payments and the foundation is in need of your help as our Payment Representative. All you will be doing is to help us receive and process payment on behalf of the foundation. After receiving the payment,you will have it cashed out at either your Bank or a check cashing centre and will have the funds transferred to the Accountant information as instructed by the firm. Once you have processed the payment, you will deduct 10% of the actual amount received and you will have the rest transferred as instructed. The 10% you will be deducting from the actual amount recieved is your service charge for helping the Foundation have the payment processed. Please note that the Money transfer charges will be deducted from the foundation's 90% balance.

I will like to know if you are interested in working with the foundation because we have limited spaces left open for now. We would also be glad to inform you that is a very limited offer in which it requires your immediate response. I will be hoping to hear from you soon. You will also stand the chances of being a part of our future and the excellence of an Institute in which you will be highly appreciated.

I would be glad if you accept our proposal and we intend to commence on starting as soon as you are ready. If you are interested, i would want you to please kindly fill your details below, so that we can start ASAP.

FULL NAME:
PHYSICAL ADDRESS (No P.O.BOX):
CITY:
STATE:
ZIP CODE:
COUNTRY:
PHONE NUMBER (S):
EMAIL :

Marcus Simon.
Children Support Foundation
London, SE233YP.
United Kingdom.

My Response:

Dear Mr. Simon,

I am delighted that you have chosen me for this part-time job as a Payment Representative, a job which pays $3000/month.

There are a couple of concerns I have which I would like to get out of the way first.

1). I notice you sent this letter to "undisclosed-recipients" which leads me to believe that you are offering this part time job to others and so I want you to know that I WANT THIS JOB. I AM THE MOST QUALIFIED. DO NOT GIVE THIS JOB TO ANYONE ELSE!!!!!

2). You said "this job will act as an extra income for you if you are employed." Are you kidding? I am unemployed, and living off government assistance. This would be great! I could really use $3000 extra a month, but I certainly don't want to be employed. Does that cancel your offer?

I currently live in Section 8 housing with my girlfriend's 6 children (well, we think one of them is mine, but no matter -- we still get a good check from the government for each of them, and the amount for each child should be going up now that the US has a liberal-stacked government coming up and they start taking more money from those rich people who don't deserve to keep EVERYTHING they work for!)

I have an idea: Please send me a list of the names and addresses of the kiddos that have heart and kidney problems IN MY AREA and I can also offer them jobs. My girlfriend and I are already doing pretty well in our little business decorating Lance Armstrong bracelets (those yellow bands people wear on their wrists to raise awareness for cancer in a sensitive area or something). Anyway, we have the kids hot-gluing rhinestones to them for 'extra bling.' We pay them upwards of $1.57 a week, and we could DEFINITELY use some more help. These sickly kiddos could be quite an asset, because THIS WORK CAN BE DONE FROM A HOSPITAL BED or even an IRON LUNG.

Are you getting the BIGGER picture here? More money for all of us!!!! (Except the kids)

Seriously, let's make this work, because I am tired of all the business going to China. They don't pay their child workers very well, and it just breaks my heart.

Lets get busy!

--David

Private and Confidential

2008-10-30T14:38:00.000-07:00

The Original Scam Letter:

I am Mrs. Kate Solomon now undergoing medical treatment for cancer. I am married to Dr. Peter Solomon who worked with South Africa embassy in Malaysia for nine years before he died in the year 2006.

Before my Husband died, we both make a deposit of a total sum $7.6M in a Finance Company in South Africa. Recently, my Doctor told me that I few month to live due to cancer problem. Having known my condition I have decided to donate this fund to a honest Person.

My Attorney will issue you a Letter of Authority from Court naming you the original Beneficiary of these funds. Please assure me that you will act

accordingly as I stated herein.

Hoping to hear from you.

In His Arms.
Mrs. Kate Solomon

My Response:

Mrs. Kate Solomon,

Look, I think it's a little odd that you are married to someone who has been dead for 2 years, but I don't want to judge.

I am sorry about your cancer problem, and of course I am so sad that you will die.

Now, about that cash...

You know? you are so lucky. You completely found the right Honest Person. I am known for being totally honest all the time. Now, DO NOT tell anyone about this deal we're making. I am 3 months from being out of incarceration (some "perjury" deal, but never mind) and I don't want the government to find out about this. As you know, I am sure, this character Obama will probably be president and he wants to take more taxes from rich people (like I am about to be). We cannot let Mr. Obama know about this. Okay? And remember, I am totally honest, all the time.

I have already talked to my attorney (in nondescript terms, of course) about this "affair" and he says I need some evidence that you are 1) a doctor, 2) a woman and 3) have the money. I think a snapshot of you naked in a hospital with some cash would be proof enough. Do you know how to do e-mail attachments?

Awaiting your response,

Mr. David

From Mr Simon Danel

2008-10-29T14:46:00.000-07:00

The Original Scam Letter:

My Dear friend,
My name is Mr. Simon Daniel I work with the BAF Bank of Cote D' ivoire as the Regional manager plateau Branch, in the Western Region of Cote d' ivoire.I am 53 years old with three kids. I have packaged a transaction that will be of mutual benefit to us. As the branch manager of BAF Bank of Cote D' ivoire, it is my duty to send a financial report to my head office in the capital city, plateau, at the end of each financial year.

Following the release of the second quarter financial report, ending June 2006, I discovered that my branch made Nine Million, Eight Hundred and Fifty Thousand United States Dollars ($9,850,000.00); from the transactions accruing to the account of the Inland Revenue Service (IRS). This was not detected by the renowned auditors from my head office.
I have moved the funds into what the Bank call Escrow Call Account with no beneficiary. Meanwhile as you know I can not be directly connected to this money for obvious reasons. So my contacting you is to assist me receive the funds in your Bank account in your country; which I know is possible if you

liaise properly with me and get 30% of the total funds as your benefit. The transfer would be made via swift and it will be a Bank-to-Bank wired transfer.All I need from you is to stand claim as the original depositor of this fund. I will compute your particulars as the person who made the deposit in my branch, so that my head office will immediately order the transfer to your designated Bank Account. Thanks for your understanding and co-operation.
Yours truly.
Simon Daniel

My Response:

Dear Mr. Danel,

This is very exciting news. I have always wanted to be rich. All I really want is a large swimming pool in my backyard, but I have not been able to put one in because of two things: 1) I never had the money (until now!!!!) and 2) I am a renter.

I have not researched swimming pool prices, but I think that 30% of 9.8 billion dollars will cover most of it.

Please just send me a check now, and we can discuss the details later. I am so glad you were able to find my e-mail address on my website. I am one lucky man.

--David

A Scam Response:

Dear David R. Darrow,

Thanks for your mail and your williness to proceed with me on this affair. I hope we will come to a very Good end in this transaction. I know i have not met with you before and also do not know you on person but i believe i can trust you that was why i have contacted you on this matter. I will want you to call me on this number 00 225 09 61 50 80 so i will let you know more on how we are to proceed on this affair or send to me your own phoen number so i can call you ok. Bye for now i will be expecting to hear from you.
Thanks Yours,
Mr. Simon.

雅虎邮箱，您的终生邮箱！

My Response:

Dear Simon Danel,

Do you have a middle initial like I do? I prefer to write to people who I know have a middle name or at least an initial.

Anyway, YOU are thanking ME for my willingness to proceed on this affair? Are you joking? It has been several years since a total stranger has offered me some serious cash like this! I don't know how to figure out how much 30% of $9.8 billion actually is but I am pretty sure it is more than $30,000! That is a LOT of money, and I hope you do not "change the deal." That happened to me once when I was trying to buy a Chevy Nova once, but that's another story.

I am glad you trust me even though you don't really know me. That makes me feel SO good. No one has said something like that to me since I came to prison. I will not let you down. And you had better not let me down, either. I would be mad. And when I lose my temper... (well... let's just say, there's a reason I'm in "the big house.")

You told me to call you on "this number" -- but I can't for 2 reasons:
1) I don't have access to a telephone here, as you might understand
2) You gave me, like, 6 numbers! You didn't tell me which one I should call you on! I can't afford to call all 6 of them! (and I am really suspicious of that first number "00" -- is that a real number? My cellmate is a mathematician and says "00 ain't nuthin'" -- Who do I trust?)

Of course I don't have a phone number here. We will have to work out some other means of communication and delivery. I would like to get the cash soon. Some of the other guys here get secret stuff delivered inside a cake or body cavity. So there are options.

I had just enough time to visit your website. It's really cool, but I couldn't read anything there. Well... I have to go back to "solitary" so I won't be able to get your e-mails until tomorrow. Good luck, take it easy, and as they say in The Islands: Kawabunga.

'Thanks Yours,' too, and Caio.

Mr. David R. Darrow
IM#669966

PS -- I will be out in 9 months, so I hope I can get the dough by then and build that pool!!! This is so lucky. I am standing beside myself with joy. My wife will love it. Oh, and please don't tell her about our affair. She watches Oprah, and doesn't trust men at all, now.

Scam and Eggs

NY Arts Exhibition – Publishing

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ORDER (Mike Williams)

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Keen to meet new people

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From Nina Douala

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Looking for Fun,Travel and Good Times.

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Mail Order..........

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COMPENSATION OFFICE UNION BANK/ UNITED NATIONS SCAM VICTIMS COMPENSATION PAYMENTS

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Beloved

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Private and Confidential

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From Mr Simon Danel

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