Hello Gentlemen!!! from Linda Znak

The scam letter

Vous êtes invité :: HELLO GENTLEMEN !!!
Par votre hôte: Linda Znak
Date: lundi 6 avril 2009
Heure: 9h 00 - 10h 00 (GMT+00:00)

Lieu: Hello Dearest,

Now hold on there a sec. Do we even know each other?

The reason why I have not found the love of my life is because the love of my life has not found me yet!

Well, you're onto a great solution: you mass-email thousands of people across the only known planet where humans live. The quality of man you will find among the recipients who believe you are interested in them should be the perfect match for your level of integrity. I'm sure once you find the right match with whom to share your special gift, you will both contribute greatly to the deep end of the gene pool.

I am a very positive person.

What happened? Lose an electron?

(That's just a joke.)

You'll like me. I am funny like that a lot.

Never give up until the plan changes.

Um... that is kinda what giving up is...

I am cheerful, kindhearted and responsible.

Like you need to tell me. I could sense your level of responsibility the moment I opened your e-mail addressed to thousands. Some of whom have women's names.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I do not have bad habits

except chronic personal myopia

and I am always a good company.

then may I just call you Ford from now on?

I like music and animals.

Have you seen Disney's Jungle Book?

I want to make this life beautiful!

Maybe it's time to 'fees-up on what you did to screw up your former one

I want an honest man to share quality time with enjoying life we live. I like to open doors, hold hands.

So in your former life, you didn't get to open doors and hold hands much? The two activities, while certainly essential to a healthy relationship are somewhat mutually exclusive.

I am looking for One Good Man who is looking for One Good Woman

Therein lies the problem. The men who respond to this spam solicitation are not looking for One Good Woman.

At least not for longer than an hour.

These kind of guys are looking for Many Good Women, and their standards are somewhat flexible.

My name is Linda, a pretty girl from Sierra Leone but lives in Dakar-Senegal.

Well, Linda, being a guy and all, of course I will just take your word that you are pretty.

Dakar? Hey, that's really far away. Were you thinking I should leave my job and family and all my friends here in America to join you there? Maybe you could send me your mailing address so I can zoom in on your house in Dakar on Google Maps. I'm pretty sure I can find it.

Am approaching you for a genuine friendship and a partnership I Got your contact through my serious searching for a honest partner,

They call your method "dredging" where I come from.

Don't get me wrong, I am still flattered.

Your contacts was so nice and i felt that we can be partners in my entire life, viewing your contact alone,

You must have seen an old picture. I wear bifocals, now

i see the source of my life and i know that coming to you will create a great happiness in my living ,so i felt we could start from friendship. Who knows, something greater may come up in time to come if you don't mind, for more of my introduction and to let you know more about my self.

How about I just empty my bank account and send it all to you now, so we can avoid all this needless chit-chat.

Tell me about yourself as you reply to this Email

To be perfectly Frank, I am looking for a woman who is really a man from Nigeria using e-mail address harvesters and the French installation of Yahoo to scam Americans out of their life savings.

We may be a perfect match.

linda.znak@yahoo.fr
Permit me to drop for the moment, i hope to hear from you soonest.

Yours Truly Linda

Well, Linda, feel free to drop for the moment. In fact drop for a lifetime. I'm flexible.

By the way, send me a picture of you in your finest Dakar disco wear.

I will send you a picture of me in a working on my car on front of the double-wide when I get back from Wal-mart.

--Junior

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Microword Corporations

Today's Scam Letter

MICROWORD CORPORATIONS:
CUSTOMER SERVICE, MADRID SPAIN
REFERENCE NUMBER: XLA/JNP/E-6587
BATCH NUMBER: 2008/430/CA
LINK: http://www.microword.com/

OFFICIAL WINNING NOTIFICATION.

We are pleased to inform you of the released results of the Sweepstakes Promotion organized by Microword Corporations, in conjunction with the foundation for the promotion of software products, held this March, 2009 here in Madrid, Spain. Where your email address emerged as one of the online winning emails, in the 3rd category and therefore attracted a cash award of 450,000.00 (Four Hundred and Fifty Thousand Euros Only) and a Toshiba laptop.

This is incredible! Was I entered into the contest by buying a Microword product? I mean, I installed a copy of my friend's software on my computer that was made by that corporation: Windows View, or Vista or something. Is that your company? Do you know Bill Gates (is that his name, the rich guy?)?

I was unaware of the foundation for the promotion of software products. Is this some kind of a solicitation for me to donate to that foundation?

And if the 3rd category wins $450,000 Euros and a Toshiba laptop, what do the other categories win?

Can I even use Euros here? I am in America and we use "dollars" (they do in Canada, too, but not US dollars).

Oh, and why do I get $450,000 Euros and a Toshiba laptop. I mean, not that I won't take the computer (is it new?) but I think I can actually buy one or two of those with that kind of money!!! Right??? Haha!

To begin your claim, file the release of your winning by contacting our Foreign Transfer Manager via email or by telephone below.

Mr. Bobby Williams
Tel/ 0034 645 749 452
Fax/ 0034 911 817 496
Email: microword.winnersinfo@gmail.com

I hate to sound picky, but those don't even look like phone numbers, so that's why I am writing to you instead. Frankly, those look like lottery numbers or the 'key' I had to type in to get Windows View to work.

This Email Lottery is sponsored by Microword Corporations and all the members of MSFT Word Resource Consortium Software Promotion Companies including Intel Group, Toshiba and Dell Computers. This internet E-mail draw is held periodically and is organized to encourage the use of the Internet and promote computer literacy worldwide.

I'm glad Microword is heading this up. They have a great reputation. I know their stuff really good.

How come I didn't win something from Dell? Are you holding out on me? I actually like Dell better than Toshiba, cuz Dell is made in America. Nothing against your country Europe.

Congratulations!!

Sincerely,

Mrs.Yolanda Fernando
Promotions Manager

Thank you Mrs. Fernando (can I call you Yolanda? I love the español sound of that!) Get back to me soon!

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Hello

The Scam Letter As it Arrived

[My replies inserted]

From: infonoreply@deltalloyd.nl
Subject: Hello
Date: March 17, 2009 9:55:28 AM PDT
To:undisclosed-recipients:;
Reply-To: jacobklaas@aol.nl

Hello,

My name is Jacob Klaas I work as an international auditor for the delta lloyd Bank (ALM) Asset Liability Managerial department monitoring five branches including Singapore, Belgium and Netherlands.

Hey, nice to meet you. Can I call you Jake? Wonderful of you to write to me and a presumably large number of 'unknown recipients' with this 'offer.' Don't you guys know that one of the tip-offs regarding scam letters like yours is the obvious fact that you're mailing the same thing to so many people?

Another clue is that you claim to have an important position in a bank that has several branches, but you forget to capitalize the name of your bank. "Hello," indeed.

And really, while we're on it, what's with an e-mail message subject: "Hello"?

Is that considered original? Congenial? Inviting? Everyone I know says Hello.

I have taken pains to find your contact through personal

Through personal what? That's all you're giving me at this time?

Is this the bait?

Come on... I am left to wonder: through personal... problems? tragedy? classified ads? space? hygiene?

'I just gots to know...'

I have a business proposal for you

Okay... I will take it.

You got me.

I'll bite.

How about you and I become partners immediately. Let's split everything 50/50. I don't know you, and you don't know me, but we've already got a rapport built on trust, so let's go for it.

Yours truly,

(as if you needed to tell me)

Jacob Klaas.

Any relations to "Santa?"

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Hope You Receive This Message!!!

The Original Scam Letter

From: teddywilliams@yahoo.com.hk
Subject: Hope you receive this message!!!
Date: March 3, 2009 4:53:17 PM PST
Reply-To: teddywilliams@yahoo.com.hk

Hope you receive this message!!!

And I hope you receive my answer!!! I am not sure whether to write back to your Yahoo Hong Kong address above or the AOL address, below...

On behalf of the Trustees and Executor of the estate of Late Engr.Jьrge Krьgger.

Wow... I am certain I would remember a name like that.

I once again try to notify you as my earlier letter were returned undelivered.

So you wrote to the same e-mail address again? I guess second time's a charm...

I wish to notify you that late Engr. Jьrge Krьgger made you a beneficiary to his WILL. He left the sum of Thirty Million, One Hundred Thousand Dollars (USD$30,100.000.00) to you in the Codicil and last testament to his WILL.

I have a strong inclination to regard this as good news. However, I am a little confused by your use of double decimal points in the above. I will reserve my excitement pending further clarification. Upon receipt of a properly placed comma, I will resume elation.

This may sound strange and unbelievable to you, but it is real and true.

Well, it does... but your reassurance using the words "real" and "true" has a settling effect on any dubiousness on my part.

Being a widely traveled man, he must have been in contact with you in the past or simply you were nominated to him by one of his numerous friends abroad who wished you good.

You're probably right. Being a thinly traveled man, myself (I remain at home in the dark, day after day with my books and my cats) I may have actually met him if he managed to drop by my flat. Anyone who wishes me good is a friend of mine, regardless of their grammar.

Engr. Jьrge Krьgger until his death was a member of the Helicopter Society and the Institute of Electronic & Electrical Engineers.

The Helicopter Society? I was with them when they merged with the Dirigible Society! We have a lot in common!

Please if I reach you as I am hopeful, endeavor to get back to me as soon as possible to enable me conclude my job.

I promise if you reach me, you will be the first to know. I look forward to you reaching me.

You are advice to contact me with my personal email: wllbrrtddy@aim.com
Await your prompt response.

And you are advice to get a thesaurus and a decent handle on the English language before you try this stuff on any American again.

Yours in Service,
BARRISTER TEDDY WILLIAMS ESQ.
PRINCIPAL PARTNERS: Barrister Aidan Walsh.Esq Markus
Wolfgang, Mr. John Marvey Esq., Mr. Jerry Smith Esq.

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Re-Notifying you Again

The Scam Letter from John Mcgowan Jr.

johnmcgowanjjr@gmail.com
Get Back To Me For More Details.

We wish to notify you again that you were listed as an heir to the total sum of Ten Million Six Hundred Thousand British pounds in the codicil and last testament of the deceased. Name now withheld since this is our second letter to you. We contacted you because you bear the surname identity and therefore can present you as the heir to the inheritance.

Wow! Somehow I missed your first letter, and I realize now, that this is important! Thanks for writing again. I swear I didn't get the first letter. How did I miss it.

I am an heir to the inheritance? Does that mean I inherit the inheritance as an heir? Or am I just an heir to the inheritance without inheriting the inheritance? Please explain.

Anyway, I don't care if the poor sap's surname is Rumpelstiltskin. He's dead, and his name won't get him a cup of Earl Grey anywhere in London, now. If you have connected him to me, that's enough evidence as far as I am concerned.

Like my friend Jerry says, "Show me the money!"

We therefore reckoned that you could receive these funds as you are qualified by your name identity.

And I reckon you are right. And I am fixin' to take that money.

All the legal papers will be processed in your acceptance. In your acceptance of this deal, we request that you kindly forward to us your letter of acceptance; your current telephone and fax numbers and a forwarding address to enable us file necessary documents at our high court probate division for the release of this sum of money.

"In your acceptance?" - "High court probate division?" Hey, I have no idea what all this stuff means. I am no dental hygienist, you know? But if there is a sum of 10 Million Dollars for me, you have my full cooperation.

Now, you need to understand that I work at a job where, well, let's just say I utter frequently the phrase "and would you like fries with that?" so if you are expecting me to have a phone number or stable address, well, as my dad used to say "you've got another thing comin'"

I think that means, "You're wrong."

Anyway, I'm just joshin' with ya. But it's true I can only be contacted by e-mail for now, so write back when you get this. We'll figure out a way to "make a drop" somewhere. I come to the Library a lot to check my e-mail and see how my Etsy sales are doing.

Thanks.

Please contact me via my private email so that we can get this done immediately. Kind regards, John McGowan Jr.

So, I am writing back to you... is this your private e-mail? You didn't give me another one. I hope this doesn't screw anything up. Do we need to keep this on the down-low?

Signed,

Wilson 'Rumpelstiltskin' Phillips

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Google Online Promo © 2009

A Google-related Lotto Winning?

Dear Valued Customer,
Your e-mail have emerged as a winner of £500,000.00 GBP (Five Hundred Thousand British Pounds) in our on-going New Year Promotion.

Really? My email have?

I cannot believe my good fortune in having you extend the New Year Promotion to January 31st! You people must party like I do. Whoo-hoo! Oh, the booze and babes I will buy when I get my hands on that £5,000,000.00. It was millions, right?

Your Winning details are as follows: Computer Generated Profile Numbers (CGPN):7-22-71-00-66-12, Ticket number: 00869575733664, Serial numbers:/BTD/8070447706/06, Lucky numbers: 12-12-23-35-40-41(12).

Wait a minute, those are my actual Lucky Numbers. How did you figure that out? I have never told ANYONE what my lucky numbers are. I keep them only in my mind. How could you figure out my exact lucky numbers? I had formulated a scheme using a careful repetition of the number 12 in my lucky numbers. How could you know that?!

This HAS to be real! (When I was 12, I got 12 candles on my 12th Birthday cake! That's how I knew to have three 12s in my Lucky Numbers. It wasn't just a coincidence. I knew it was luck!).

Oh, and those Computer Generated Profile Numbers? (CGPN) That is just spooky. That is my exact Account Number with Lehman Brothers bank! How could you possibly know that?

Contact Mr. Francis Henson for more details through the contact below:

Mr. Francis Henson,
Email: giveaway.agent01@gmail.com

Another coincidence: I had breakfast with Mr. Francis Bacon, just this morning. This is crazy! I am so excited.

Awaiting your reply,

Kermit T. Frogg

Sincerely,
Mrs Johanna Maria V. D. Boogaand.

PS - I used to have dreams about a VD Boogaand when I was in the service in Taiwan... another coincidence?

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EuroMillions Winner!

The scam letter, with my response

From: "mvcmumbai"
Date: November 29, 2008 8:53:07 PM PST
Subject: N/A
Reply-To: ccsexpress_20@yahoo.com.hk

I hope I replied to the right one. the e-mail came from "mvcmumbai" but I am writing to "ccexpress" -- I hope I do not mess up my chances!

ONLINE NOTIFICATION DEPARTMENT EURO MILLION ONLIINE LOTTERY.
http://www.euromillions.com/


WINNING CONFIRMATION DETAIL
=============================
Lucky Numbers: 13, 11, 64, 88, 40
Bonus Ball Number: 30
Serial number 9987/08
Amount Won: 500.000.00 (EURO)
================================

This is incredible news! Those are the exact numbers I play EVERY TIME!!! Look, I have to admit I don't remember playing the Euro Millions, but maybe I did. My ex-wife says I have a gambling problem. But now I am the lucky one!

What do I do if I cannot find my receipt/ticket? I cannot look through all the little lottery tickets I have bought (100s of them!) just to find the one with serial number 9987/08.

Can I still get the money?

Your email address won 500.000.00 (EURO) in the EURO MILLION LOTTERY END OF YEAR CASH-OUT LOTTERY. To file for your claims, contact our delivery agent Mr Martins Handson with the details below

PAYMENT RELEASE FORM.

Full Names..
Address..
Country...
Age..
Sex..
Occupation..
Telephone..


MODE OF COLLECTION
====================
Via Bank Wire Transfer
---------------------
Via Courier
------------------------

Wait! How do I contact Mr. Martins Hanson??? I want to collect my rightful prize. I do hope you are not lying to me about who to contact and trying to keep the money yourself.

Write back to me soon, okay?

I am so excited!

-- Doc

I am awaiting a response...

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