Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Re-Notifying you Again

The Scam Letter from John Mcgowan Jr.
Get Back To Me For More Details.

We wish to notify you again that you were listed as an heir to the total sum of Ten Million Six Hundred Thousand British pounds in the codicil and last testament of the deceased. Name now withheld since this is our second letter to you. We contacted you because you bear the surname identity and therefore can present you as the heir to the inheritance.

Wow! Somehow I missed your first letter, and I realize now, that this is important! Thanks for writing again. I swear I didn't get the first letter. How did I miss it.

I am an heir to the inheritance? Does that mean I inherit the inheritance as an heir? Or am I just an heir to the inheritance without inheriting the inheritance? Please explain.

Anyway, I don't care if the poor sap's surname is Rumpelstiltskin. He's dead, and his name won't get him a cup of Earl Grey anywhere in London, now. If you have connected him to me, that's enough evidence as far as I am concerned.

Like my friend Jerry says, "Show me the money!"

We therefore reckoned that you could receive these funds as you are qualified by your name identity.

And I reckon you are right. And I am fixin' to take that money.

All the legal papers will be processed in your acceptance. In your acceptance of this deal, we request that you kindly forward to us your letter of acceptance; your current telephone and fax numbers and a forwarding address to enable us file necessary documents at our high court probate division for the release of this sum of money.

"In your acceptance?" - "High court probate division?" Hey, I have no idea what all this stuff means. I am no dental hygienist, you know? But if there is a sum of 10 Million Dollars for me, you have my full cooperation.

Now, you need to understand that I work at a job where, well, let's just say I utter frequently the phrase "and would you like fries with that?" so if you are expecting me to have a phone number or stable address, well, as my dad used to say "you've got another thing comin'"

I think that means, "You're wrong."

Anyway, I'm just joshin' with ya. But it's true I can only be contacted by e-mail for now, so write back when you get this. We'll figure out a way to "make a drop" somewhere. I come to the Library a lot to check my e-mail and see how my Etsy sales are doing.


Please contact me via my private email so that we can get this done immediately. Kind regards, John McGowan Jr.

So, I am writing back to you... is this your private e-mail? You didn't give me another one. I hope this doesn't screw anything up. Do we need to keep this on the down-low?


Wilson 'Rumpelstiltskin' Phillips

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