Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Paypal Money Request

Here's a new angle...

I got a legitimate Paypal Money Request from Cris Carriaga ( today. It was for $5 and the "details" said "Book Donation."

I have no idea who this person is.

I wrote back:


Why do you want my money?

I received a response today, as well:

It is only for donation

our library needs new books

hope you donate

thanks you

God Bless

I guess he thought I would just pay it out without asking. I wonder how well that one is working...

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Thursday, May 14, 2009

From Nina Douala

The Scam Letter

From: Nina Douala <>
Subject: From Nina Douala
Date: May 14, 2009 5:35:48 AM PDT

Dear One,

Good day I am Nina Douala.

So, is this a secret deal, Nina? I noticed you are using the e-mail address of Sandra Konne "110" in Japan, and that you have secured other Yahoo addresses in Japan, also, like that of some gal named Nina. I also notice you are sending this e-mail not only to me, but also to yourself. I am getting back to you, and suggest you also get back to yourself. I'm just trying to keep things tidy, yet can't help but notice this has all the markings of a secret mission.

Don't worry. I get it. This is secret... And you and I? — we're cool.

From Abidjan Cote d'ivoire, I wish to request for your urgent assistance in my investment plans in your base

How did you know I had a base? Your people are good. I have had a secret base on my Montana property for only a year or so... I thought it was well hidden, but maybe your people want to invest money with me to make it better hidden?

I could use the money. Do you know what I grow?

I am calling in respect of the transfer of money ($6.500,000) Six Million Five houndred thousand

Ha! I do that all the time. "Houndred thousand," "forty for" and "sebbendy sebben" are all easy mistakes to make. And I always get eleventeen mixed up with the number that comes before twelb...

united states dollars

Ummm... isn't that supposed to be capitalized?

only deposit in the bank by my late Father Mr Joseph Douala who was a wealthy Cocoa Merchant here in Ivory Coast.

I don't mean to sound like I doubt you, but how did your late father deposit the money if he was 'late?' Around here that means 'dead' and dead folk don't get around to the bank so often, given their condition.

I wish to invest this money in manufacturing and real estate management in your base,

Did we get our wires crossed somehow? I grow illegal herbs on a large property in the mountains of Montana, mostly covered with fishnet and leaves, and other forms of camo. Now if you want to invest in my 'product' then you need to address all your inquiries to my boss in Columbia, Juan Valdez who has a donkey, and they both like coffee.

this is because I inheritated an important sum from my late father who died in recent political crisis in Cote d'Ivoire here.

Cote d'Ivoire? I thought you said you were from the Ivory Coast. Make up your mind. Do I look stupid to you?

And another thing, $6,500,500 is not an 'important' sum of money. It's a frickin' boatload. Holy Moly! Do you know who I am? That's more than I make in a week!

Before the death of my father he informed me near his hospital bed at chu-teaching hospital, that he has saved the in one of the bank here in cote d'Ivoire with my name, and I have made every inquired to confirm the existence of the deposit.

Well, I am no doctor, but it sounds as though, since your father was in such bad condition, he should have been in the bed, not near it, and they should have been doing something other than teaching him how to chu if he was that bad off.

Nonetheless, I am glad he was able to inform you of the deposit, and you have verified its existence.

This money was been deposited for my social security and for fruitful international investment.That is why I need you to keep this transaction highly confidential and trustworthy person who will assist me to receive this money overseas for investment establishment purpose indurities and lucratives profitable ventures.

Hey, I am all over those indurities and lucratives. Seriously.

Do not, I repeat, do not invest in proclivities or monstrosities. They are not moving right now. Best to invest your money in my base.

I want you to send your full name so that I will go and submit it to the bank and I will officially make you my foreign partner and the bank here will endorse it and transfer the money to your bank account and I will appreciate it if you send me your direct phone number for easy communication.

Wow. Things are sure easy to get done there on the Ivory Coast. (By the way, is that where they make that floating soap?) I swear, if all I did was submit a name e-mailed to me and ask for $6.5 Million Dollars to be transferred, they would take me a way in a tight, backward bathrobe sitting in the front seat of the short bus to Loony Land.

But if you say so.

My full name is Terrence Kloth Boxers

Thanks and anticipating to hear from you immediately you recieve this mail.

It's "receive." Remember the rule: "I before E except after C, and in worlds with neighbors in the way."


God bless. Please you can reach me through my private e_mail address

Wow, yet another e-mail address. You get around. (wink, wink)

Yours Faithfully.
Nina Douala.

Please, the faithfully is all mine. Talk to you soon, when I am rich beyond my wildest dreams.

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Friday, May 8, 2009

Looking for Fun,Travel and Good Times.

The original scam letter

From: Ludmyla <>
Subject: Looking for Fun,Travel and Good Times.
To: <A long list of recipients, alphabetically arranged>
Date: Friday, May 8, 2009, 5:16 AM

My dear friend

Love is the emblem of eternity; it confounds all notion of time; effaces all memory of a beginning, all fear of an end.

Wow, that was just beautiful, I think. I'm not much of a deep thinker, but that sounded -- I don't know -- poetic? It sounds like you have a very big heart, and I don't mean like the enlarged heart medical problem.

Did you write that? You're deep.

Website: *******/ (edited)

I am beautiful, harmonious, very sexual, kind, cheerful person. I love children very much. Good company, kind people, animals and the nature are important to me. Very much I like to travel, learn new, to visit historical places, especially I love exotic places.

I visited your website. Wow you're like a model -- And I don't mean like in the miniature scale reproduction sense, rather like one of those pretty women that gets used by large companies to sell things like tools, batteries, cars, cigarettes and other stuff that one would not ordinarily associate with procreation.

By the way -- and I think I speak for most men -- the "beautiful, harmonious, very sexual" items are all pros, but the "I love children very much" and the "animals and the nature" comments might be cons. I dunno, maybe it's just me.

Also I like very much to sing, dance, float, go under a sail, I like to drive the car, I love speed, at the same time with pleasure I will drive on a bicycle, flied on a hang-glider.

Oh my gosh. You like to float? I haven't found a girl who liked to float since I broke up with my girlfriend Linda back in the 70s.

She hated pea soup, by the way. It always came up.

And, being an avid water sports kind of guy (when I'm not watching reality shows at 2am on MTV, of course) I like to go under a sail, too. Nothing beats the ol' going under a sail!

We have a lot in common, you and me. And I don't mean common in the homely people sense.

I, too, have been known to, on occasion, drive on a bicycle or two, but usually when backing out of a driveway without checking behind my truck first. You're the first girl I have ever heard of that actually likes that. Maybe me and you could do that together sometime.

I don't want to screw up our relationship, but I have to admit I have never flied on a hang-glider. Flieding makes me a little nervous.

I love rather an extreme.

I know what you mean. Me, too.

I am very friendly person, love dialogue, not the disputed person.

Well, I notice from your picture that you would be a very good mother to any infant (or two, if not more), so really, between you and me, the friendly dialogue thing is not the priority.

I am not the disputed person, either.


I love and be able is tasty to prepare dishes of any kitchen of the world.

So, you make nice crockery? Can you fashion steins like the ones in Oktoberfest in Germany?

I like beer a lot.

By the way very much I love flowers, gifts with all the heart, attention and pleasant surprises!

You love flowers. Well, there's my big surprise for the day... an attractive women who likes flowers.

I'm just kidding.

I do that a lot.

Well, I have a pleasant surprise for you: I would like to marry you, and if you want, I will send you $10,000 to get your affairs in order and buy a plane ticket over to my house in the Mojave area of California. The climate here is always the same. You will love it.

Can I trust you?

So long

Wow... that was quick. Over before it began.

I'm shocked, and I'm hurt.

Well, it was nice while it lasted. Thanks for thinking of me, and so long to you, too.

I will miss you. And not like the throwing a rock but not hitting you sense.

Always here, eating Cheetos,

Brian (not to be confused with brain).

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Wednesday, May 6, 2009


(Seriously! That was the Subject of the e-mail I got)

The Original Scam Letter

Subject: ªÑ²¼¥æ³Î¥N¹Ô´Ú
Date: May 10, 2009 2:42:36 PM PDT



¡°¨ ¤ÀÃÒ°·«O¥d¦³¥¿±`¤u§@§Y¥i¹w ɲ{ª÷³Ì°ª10¸U
¡°©± ±, Ó¤H¤u§@«Ç¥i¾Ì¯²«Î«´¬ù¹w ɲ{ª÷³Ì°ª30¸U
¡°¤u°Ó²¼¶K¿Ä¸ê100¸U¤º ·~¬É³Ì§C®§
¡°¤½¥q²¼, t³d¤H¥»¤H²¼,ÀY¦¸ É´Ú,§Q®§µ´¹ï¦AÀu´f
¡°¹q¤l·s¶QVSÃÒ¨éÀç·~ û«OÃÒ·~¬É³Ì§C§Q²v±M®×¹ê¬I¤¤
±M·~¤H û10¤ÀÄÁ²{³õ§Ö³t¼f¥ó,·í¤é§Y¥i¼·´Ú
§Ú ̤£ª±¸Ø¤j¤£¹êªº¼Æ¦r¹CÀ¸
§Ú Ì¥u¬O¹ê¹ê¦b¦bªº°µ¨Æ
º¦¸ É´Ú,±zªº¥Ì W,ºÃ¼{§Ú ̳£ª¾¹D...
Åwªï¥Í·N¤H¨Ó¹q¤ñ¸û,§O®a¦³ ɤ]¥iÂà¶U °®§
²{¥¿Àu´f´Á¶¡¡A¤@³q¹q¸Ü±M û¨ì©²¡A¬°±zªA°È¡CL/C¥N¹Ô»È¦æ´«³æ¥ø·~¡A¤½¥q¡A t³d¤H¯Ê¶gÂàª÷§ä§Ú( ¦³ÁÙ´Ú¯à¤OªÌ)


¸Û«H«O±K, Ó¤H¸ê®Æµ´¤£¥~¬ª!¥¿¬£¸gÀç,ÅwªïÀu½è«È¤áªº¥[¤J!!!

¤ä«È²¼ ¶K²{ »È¦æ§C§Q²v¿ù¹L³o¦¸¤£ª¾ÁÙ nµ¥¦h¤Ö¦~¤u¼t¾÷±ñ½è©ã¾á«O«~ ɶU


Man! You eat with that mouth?

Ha! It's just a joke... see, there was a typo in the first paragraph, and it kind of changed the meaning of... um... well never mind... back to what you were saying...

Look, first of all, I agree with everything you said. Better than I could have said myself.


But just to make sure we are on the same page, when you said "¶r«æªA°È±M½u¢¯¢¸¢²¢·¡Ð¢±¢¸¢·¡Ð¢¯¢³¢¸(24H)" you seem to be suggesting that it all boils down to 24H, but my friend Bob was thinking there might be an error in your calculations.

Get back to me on that, won't you, so we can move ahead.

And here's the answer to your test question: A tall glass, two scoops of vanilla ice cream, some root beer and an elephant!

Did I get it right?

Waiting to hear back,

Poindexter Wizzard

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Friday, April 10, 2009

Mail Order..........

This scam has the most hits and comments of any. Apparently this one actually works on the uninformed, sadly.

The Original Scam Letter

Subject: mail order..........
Date: April 10, 2009 11:38:14 AM PDT

Hello Sales

Please, call me 'Soupy'

i would like to order some product from your store to mine in australia .so let me know if can ship down to australia so that i can email you the product i am interested in.

You are in luck. All we sell here at Soupy's Product, Inc. is product. Established in 1853 by my great grandfather, R. Product 'Soupy' Sales, as he noticed the increasing demand for product, we have been offering the highest quality product since product was invented. He started out with only 1 product and sold it under the catalog name 'Product P00001' and -- as you may have guessed -- we now have nearly 10,000 product in our product line.

The Product Board has just recently been discussing whether or not to ship product to Australia as this has been the only continent to which we do not ship product. By the way, the Australian people prefer it when you use a capital 'A.' I asked an Australian myself. (He was a handsome fellow with a cowboy hat pinned up on one side and kept going on about how my knife was not a real knife but his was -- his was huge! -- and kept talking about a shrimp named Barbie or something... I dunno, he had a strong accent.)

Anyway, if you can describe how large an order you might be placing for product, I may be able to convince the board that a large product order to Australia might be just the ticket.

also payment will be done via credit card details if you do accept that let me know so that i can place my order and the Items will be picked Up by my shipping Company at you store

But of course! Who, in this world, can do business (especially in the product market!) without the use of credit card details. Your having mentioned this consideration makes me really trust you to pay for your product from my store to yours. You appear to be a fine, upstanding gentleman by your use of credit card details.

Oh... wait a second... you have a shipping company, too? You are 'diversified,' aren't you? You are smart. We only sell product.

Anyway, to be safe, we'll use a shipping company I choose. It's better that way because there are some Nigerian scammers out there that order our product and then they overpay the invoice and then send their own shipping company to pick up the goods and they ask for cash back from the overpayment. So, in essence, what has happened all 16 times is that 1) I lose our product, 2) I pay my own, actual cash to the scammers, and 3) I end up with a handful of Monopoly Money.

I'm not falling for that again! Do I look stupid to you?
Nice try.

please Get back to me so that i can email you the items i am interested.

No need to do that... just tell me what you want from P00001 through P92007 and I will have it shipped from my store to yours.

address:21/49 Norcal Road Nunawading, Victoria Australia 3131
Phone (+61 ) 9873 7677 Fax (+61 ) 9873 7655

Collin Oakley

May I call you Colon? Seems appropriate.

I am looking forward to taking your money for product. Thanks for your genuine inquiry.

Additional fake names, companies, and addresses being used in this scam include the following (updated as readers make me aware of them): David Scott, Global Shipping International, John Smith (wow... good one!), Michael or Micheal Williams, Mark Howard, Mark Donald, Matrix Store, Address: # 112 Victor Street, Chatswood 2067, Australia - Variations include the names Chris, Luda Johnson, Tom Marks, Kerry Wilshere or Wilshire, Gabriel Peters, Hiroshi Investment, 7th Floor, 3-24-21, Takanwa, Minato-Ku, Tokyo, Williams Company PLC, Access Logistics, Air Sea Road Interntional LTD, Allen Curt (, Universal Investment 10, Jalan Semantan, Bukit Damansara, Kuala Lumpur 50490 Malaysia, Rich Mccartney, Brad Collins, 21/49 Norcal Road Nunawading, Victoria Australia 3131 Phone (+61) 9873 7677 Fax (+61 ) 9873 7655,, Instyle, Japan, ABC Logistics LTD,,, globalshipping international,, Mark Chapman
Fidelity Technology, Johnny Holt Inc, 1781 Swinstone St, Rockingham, WA, 6168, Australia,, and

If you politely inquire as to what products are desired, you will get a 2nd scam letter back with the following (beware): 

"I will like you to get back to me with the total cost of the order and please do not include the Shipping Cost because the items will be picked up by our shipping Agent .kindly get Back to me if this items is in stock because I do not want any delay on this."

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Tuesday, April 7, 2009


The Original Scam

REF/PAYMENTS CODE: UNB/06654 $250,000 USD.

This is to bring to your notice that we are delegated from the UNITED NATIONS in Central Bank to pay 150 victims of scam $250,000 USD (Two Hundred and Fifty Thousand Dollars Only each).

Are you serious? There were 150 people that got scammed? Geez, I'm not such a dope after all.

You are listed and approved for this payment as one of the scammed victims to be paid this amount, get back to this office as soon as possible for the immediate payments of your $250,000 USD compensations funds.

Get back to the office? How am I supposed to do that? I have never even been there.

Do I appear to be so stupid to you that I would ever enter an office that says United Nations Scam Victims on the door? Look, just because I have been scammed into revealing my bank information to people I don't know previously, doesn't mean I'm going to just march right down to your office without a little more information.

On this faithful recommendations, we want you to know that during the last U.N. meetings held at Abuja, Nigeria, it was alarming on the money lost by various individuals to the scams artists operating in syndicates all over the world today.

I know! Those Nigerians must put something in their kids' cereal or maybe it's all the sunshine with no SPF65 or something, but they are pumping out scammers like nobody's business over there.

In other to compensate victims, the UNITED NATIONS Body is now paying 150 victims $250,000 USD each in accordance with the UNITED NATIONS recommendations. Due to the corrupt and inefficient Banking Systems in Nigeria, the payments are to be paid by Central Bank Nigeria as corresponding paying bank under funding assistance by the governments of USA , CANADA and BRITAIN.

Okay, let me get this straight... Nigerian banks cannot be trusted, so I will be paid out of Central Bank Nigeria, but really it's coming from the US, Canada and Britain (By the way, is that Great Britain, or just Regular Britain?)

Alright. sounds good.

Any benefactor of this compensation award will have to be first cleared and recommended for payment by UNION BANK PLC.

I'm sorry... I thought you contacted me because I was cleared. Can't we just move along with the compensation part?

According to the number of applicants at hand, 114 Beneficiaries has been paid, over a half of the victims are from the United States, we still have an outstanding of 36 scam victims left to be paid. Other victims who have not been contacted can submit their application as well for scrutiny and possible consideration.

I got scammed 2 times, though. Do I get $500,000? I don't mind filling out another application. Really.

We shall feed you with further modalities as soon as we get response from you on how you intend receiving your compensation payment.

I don't mean to put down your personal taste in food, but I don't need you feeding me modalities, or any other treats, for that matter. Just send me a check, and we're good.

Send a copy of your response and payment code to our remittance officer:

NAME: Mr Moses Ade
UNB/06654 $250,000 USD.

Okay, well, since you sent me my own Payment Code in the above e-mail, I will retype it for you here: UNB/06654

Below you will find my response, and a copy of the response, as requested:

"This is awesome!"
COPY: "This is awesome!"

Yours Faithfully,

Mrs. Margaret Daniel

Are you any relation to Dr. Goodluck Uba?

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Your Payment is Ready

The Original Scam Letter


Attn: Beneficiary,

Dear Dr. Uba, (may I call you Goodluck? It seems appropriate, somehow, with this notice of new riches for me).

First of all, let me congratulate you on you splendid use of foreign characters in your e-mail to me. Is that Japanese? You must have a different version of the Apple Keyboard than I do, because I cannot find those characters anywhere. I tried pulling off some of my own keys to see if there were any other characters under the English ones I have, but now I can't type certain words at all.

Second, I am amazed that in today's world with all the people clamoring for blogs and e-mail addresses that you were able to log into Yahoo and snag that e-mail address before anyone else got it. Nearly everyone in my Young Republicans Who Still Like George W. Bush Club got Yahoo e-mail addresses with 17 Ws added to their name. We thought it was brilliant, and so must have you.

And while we're being all formal and all, please address me as "Doctor." In future communication, please start with "Dear Dr. Ficiary." Thanks

It was resolved after the Board meetings today by the foreign Remittance office to release all outstanding payment of $3.5m waiting for transfer as we began this first fiscal payment of the year. You are to reconfirm your full Name, telephone for your payment.

Am I ever glad you fellows got that resolved.

Really? It's that simple? $3.5 Million US Dollars is waiting for me? And all I have to do is reconfirm my name?


Dr. Ben E. Ficiary, MD, PhD, MDiv and Zero
(That's 3 degrees above zero)

I will follow the final instruction to telephone for my payment when you supply a phone number.


Dr Goodluck Uba

- Dr Goodluck Uba

I know... "A name so nice I had to say it twice..."

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Monday, April 6, 2009

Hello Gentlemen!!! from Linda Znak

The scam letter

Vous êtes invité :: HELLO GENTLEMEN !!!
Par votre hôte: Linda Znak
Date: lundi 6 avril 2009
Heure: 9h 00 - 10h 00 (GMT+00:00)

Lieu: Hello Dearest,

Now hold on there a sec. Do we even know each other?

The reason why I have not found the love of my life is because the love of my life has not found me yet!

Well, you're onto a great solution: you mass-email thousands of people across the only known planet where humans live. The quality of man you will find among the recipients who believe you are interested in them should be the perfect match for your level of integrity. I'm sure once you find the right match with whom to share your special gift, you will both contribute greatly to the deep end of the gene pool.

I am a very positive person.

What happened? Lose an electron?

(That's just a joke.)

You'll like me. I am funny like that a lot.

Never give up until the plan changes.

Um... that is kinda what giving up is...

I am cheerful, kindhearted and responsible.

Like you need to tell me. I could sense your level of responsibility the moment I opened your e-mail addressed to thousands. Some of whom have women's names.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I do not have bad habits

except chronic personal myopia

and I am always a good company.

then may I just call you Ford from now on?

I like music and animals.

Have you seen Disney's Jungle Book?

I want to make this life beautiful!

Maybe it's time to 'fees-up on what you did to screw up your former one

I want an honest man to share quality time with enjoying life we live. I like to open doors, hold hands.

So in your former life, you didn't get to open doors and hold hands much? The two activities, while certainly essential to a healthy relationship are somewhat mutually exclusive.

I am looking for One Good Man who is looking for One Good Woman

Therein lies the problem. The men who respond to this spam solicitation are not looking for One Good Woman.

At least not for longer than an hour.

These kind of guys are looking for Many Good Women, and their standards are somewhat flexible.

My name is Linda, a pretty girl from Sierra Leone but lives in Dakar-Senegal.

Well, Linda, being a guy and all, of course I will just take your word that you are pretty.

Dakar? Hey, that's really far away. Were you thinking I should leave my job and family and all my friends here in America to join you there? Maybe you could send me your mailing address so I can zoom in on your house in Dakar on Google Maps. I'm pretty sure I can find it.

Am approaching you for a genuine friendship and a partnership I Got your contact through my serious searching for a honest partner,

They call your method "dredging" where I come from.

Don't get me wrong, I am still flattered.

Your contacts was so nice and i felt that we can be partners in my entire life, viewing your contact alone,

You must have seen an old picture. I wear bifocals, now

i see the source of my life and i know that coming to you will create a great happiness in my living ,so i felt we could start from friendship. Who knows, something greater may come up in time to come if you don't mind, for more of my introduction and to let you know more about my self.

How about I just empty my bank account and send it all to you now, so we can avoid all this needless chit-chat.

Tell me about yourself as you reply to this Email

To be perfectly Frank, I am looking for a woman who is really a man from Nigeria using e-mail address harvesters and the French installation of Yahoo to scam Americans out of their life savings.

We may be a perfect match.
Permit me to drop for the moment, i hope to hear from you soonest.

Yours Truly Linda
Well, Linda, feel free to drop for the moment. In fact drop for a lifetime. I'm flexible.

By the way, send me a picture of you in your finest Dakar disco wear.

I will send you a picture of me in a working on my car on front of the double-wide when I get back from Wal-mart.


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Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Microword Corporations

Today's Scam Letter



We are pleased to inform you of the released results of the Sweepstakes Promotion organized by Microword Corporations, in conjunction with the foundation for the promotion of software products, held this March, 2009 here in Madrid, Spain. Where your email address emerged as one of the online winning emails, in the 3rd category and therefore attracted a cash award of 450,000.00 (Four Hundred and Fifty Thousand Euros Only) and a Toshiba laptop.

This is incredible! Was I entered into the contest by buying a Microword product? I mean, I installed a copy of my friend's software on my computer that was made by that corporation: Windows View, or Vista or something. Is that your company? Do you know Bill Gates (is that his name, the rich guy?)?

I was unaware of the foundation for the promotion of software products. Is this some kind of a solicitation for me to donate to that foundation?

And if the 3rd category wins $450,000 Euros and a Toshiba laptop, what do the other categories win?

Can I even use Euros here? I am in America and we use "dollars" (they do in Canada, too, but not US dollars).

Oh, and why do I get $450,000 Euros and a Toshiba laptop. I mean, not that I won't take the computer (is it new?) but I think I can actually buy one or two of those with that kind of money!!! Right??? Haha!

To begin your claim, file the release of your winning by contacting our Foreign Transfer Manager via email or by telephone below.

Mr. Bobby Williams
Tel/ 0034 645 749 452
Fax/ 0034 911 817 496

I hate to sound picky, but those don't even look like phone numbers, so that's why I am writing to you instead. Frankly, those look like lottery numbers or the 'key' I had to type in to get Windows View to work.

This Email Lottery is sponsored by Microword Corporations and all the members of MSFT Word Resource Consortium Software Promotion Companies including Intel Group, Toshiba and Dell Computers. This internet E-mail draw is held periodically and is organized to encourage the use of the Internet and promote computer literacy worldwide.

I'm glad Microword is heading this up. They have a great reputation. I know their stuff really good.

How come I didn't win something from Dell? Are you holding out on me? I actually like Dell better than Toshiba, cuz Dell is made in America. Nothing against your country Europe.



Mrs.Yolanda Fernando
Promotions Manager

Thank you Mrs. Fernando (can I call you Yolanda? I love the español sound of that!) Get back to me soon!

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Friday, March 20, 2009


The Scam Letter As it Arrived

[My replies inserted]

Subject: Hello
Date: March 17, 2009 9:55:28 AM PDT


My name is Jacob Klaas I work as an international auditor for the delta lloyd Bank (ALM) Asset Liability Managerial department monitoring five branches including Singapore, Belgium and Netherlands.

Hey, nice to meet you. Can I call you Jake? Wonderful of you to write to me and a presumably large number of 'unknown recipients' with this 'offer.' Don't you guys know that one of the tip-offs regarding scam letters like yours is the obvious fact that you're mailing the same thing to so many people?

Another clue is that you claim to have an important position in a bank that has several branches, but you forget to capitalize the name of your bank. "Hello," indeed.

And really, while we're on it, what's with an e-mail message subject: "Hello"?

Is that considered original? Congenial? Inviting? Everyone I know says Hello.

I have taken pains to find your contact through personal

Through personal what? That's all you're giving me at this time?

Is this the bait?

Come on... I am left to wonder: through personal... problems? tragedy? classified ads? space? hygiene?

'I just gots to know...'

I have a business proposal for you

Okay... I will take it.

You got me.

I'll bite.

How about you and I become partners immediately. Let's split everything 50/50. I don't know you, and you don't know me, but we've already got a rapport built on trust, so let's go for it.

Yours truly,

(as if you needed to tell me)

Jacob Klaas.

Any relations to "Santa?"

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Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Hope You Receive This Message!!!

The Original Scam Letter

Subject: Hope you receive this message!!!
Date: March 3, 2009 4:53:17 PM PST

Hope you receive this message!!!

And I hope you receive my answer!!! I am not sure whether to write back to your Yahoo Hong Kong address above or the AOL address, below...

On behalf of the Trustees and Executor of the estate of Late Engr.Jьrge Krьgger.

Wow... I am certain I would remember a name like that.

I once again try to notify you as my earlier letter were returned undelivered.
So you wrote to the same e-mail address again? I guess second time's a charm...

I wish to notify you that late Engr. Jьrge Krьgger made you a beneficiary to his WILL. He left the sum of Thirty Million, One Hundred Thousand Dollars (USD$30,100.000.00) to you in the Codicil and last testament to his WILL.

I have a strong inclination to regard this as good news. However, I am a little confused by your use of double decimal points in the above. I will reserve my excitement pending further clarification. Upon receipt of a properly placed comma, I will resume elation.

This may sound strange and unbelievable to you, but it is real and true.
Well, it does... but your reassurance using the words "real" and "true" has a settling effect on any dubiousness on my part.

Being a widely traveled man, he must have been in contact with you in the past or simply you were nominated to him by one of his numerous friends abroad who wished you good.

You're probably right. Being a thinly traveled man, myself (I remain at home in the dark, day after day with my books and my cats) I may have actually met him if he managed to drop by my flat. Anyone who wishes me good is a friend of mine, regardless of their grammar.

Engr. Jьrge Krьgger until his death was a member of the Helicopter Society and the Institute of Electronic & Electrical Engineers.

The Helicopter Society? I was with them when they merged with the Dirigible Society! We have a lot in common!

Please if I reach you as I am hopeful, endeavor to get back to me as soon as possible to enable me conclude my job.

I promise if you reach me, you will be the first to know. I look forward to you reaching me.

You are advice to contact me with my personal email:
Await your prompt response.

And you are advice to get a thesaurus and a decent handle on the English language before you try this stuff on any American again.

Yours in Service,
PRINCIPAL PARTNERS: Barrister Aidan Walsh.Esq Markus
Wolfgang, Mr. John Marvey Esq., Mr. Jerry Smith Esq.

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Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Re-Notifying you Again

The Scam Letter from John Mcgowan Jr.
Get Back To Me For More Details.

We wish to notify you again that you were listed as an heir to the total sum of Ten Million Six Hundred Thousand British pounds in the codicil and last testament of the deceased. Name now withheld since this is our second letter to you. We contacted you because you bear the surname identity and therefore can present you as the heir to the inheritance.

Wow! Somehow I missed your first letter, and I realize now, that this is important! Thanks for writing again. I swear I didn't get the first letter. How did I miss it.

I am an heir to the inheritance? Does that mean I inherit the inheritance as an heir? Or am I just an heir to the inheritance without inheriting the inheritance? Please explain.

Anyway, I don't care if the poor sap's surname is Rumpelstiltskin. He's dead, and his name won't get him a cup of Earl Grey anywhere in London, now. If you have connected him to me, that's enough evidence as far as I am concerned.

Like my friend Jerry says, "Show me the money!"

We therefore reckoned that you could receive these funds as you are qualified by your name identity.

And I reckon you are right. And I am fixin' to take that money.

All the legal papers will be processed in your acceptance. In your acceptance of this deal, we request that you kindly forward to us your letter of acceptance; your current telephone and fax numbers and a forwarding address to enable us file necessary documents at our high court probate division for the release of this sum of money.

"In your acceptance?" - "High court probate division?" Hey, I have no idea what all this stuff means. I am no dental hygienist, you know? But if there is a sum of 10 Million Dollars for me, you have my full cooperation.

Now, you need to understand that I work at a job where, well, let's just say I utter frequently the phrase "and would you like fries with that?" so if you are expecting me to have a phone number or stable address, well, as my dad used to say "you've got another thing comin'"

I think that means, "You're wrong."

Anyway, I'm just joshin' with ya. But it's true I can only be contacted by e-mail for now, so write back when you get this. We'll figure out a way to "make a drop" somewhere. I come to the Library a lot to check my e-mail and see how my Etsy sales are doing.


Please contact me via my private email so that we can get this done immediately. Kind regards, John McGowan Jr.

So, I am writing back to you... is this your private e-mail? You didn't give me another one. I hope this doesn't screw anything up. Do we need to keep this on the down-low?


Wilson 'Rumpelstiltskin' Phillips

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Saturday, January 31, 2009

Google Online Promo © 2009

A Google-related Lotto Winning?

Dear Valued Customer,
Your e-mail have emerged as a winner of £500,000.00 GBP (Five Hundred Thousand British Pounds) in our on-going New Year Promotion.

Really? My email have?

I cannot believe my good fortune in having you extend the New Year Promotion to January 31st! You people must party like I do. Whoo-hoo! Oh, the booze and babes I will buy when I get my hands on that £5,000,000.00. It was millions, right?

Your Winning details are as follows: Computer Generated Profile Numbers (CGPN):7-22-71-00-66-12, Ticket number: 00869575733664, Serial numbers:/BTD/8070447706/06, Lucky numbers: 12-12-23-35-40-41(12).

Wait a minute, those are my actual Lucky Numbers. How did you figure that out? I have never told ANYONE what my lucky numbers are. I keep them only in my mind. How could you figure out my exact lucky numbers? I had formulated a scheme using a careful repetition of the number 12 in my lucky numbers. How could you know that?!

This HAS to be real! (When I was 12, I got 12 candles on my 12th Birthday cake! That's how I knew to have three 12s in my Lucky Numbers. It wasn't just a coincidence. I knew it was luck!).

Oh, and those Computer Generated Profile Numbers? (CGPN) That is just spooky. That is my exact Account Number with Lehman Brothers bank! How could you possibly know that?

Contact Mr. Francis Henson for more details through the contact below:

Mr. Francis Henson,

Another coincidence: I had breakfast with Mr. Francis Bacon, just this morning. This is crazy! I am so excited.

Awaiting your reply,

Kermit T. Frogg

Mrs Johanna Maria V. D. Boogaand.

PS - I used to have dreams about a VD Boogaand when I was in the service in Taiwan... another coincidence?

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