Monday, April 6, 2009

Hello Gentlemen!!! from Linda Znak

The scam letter

Vous êtes invité :: HELLO GENTLEMEN !!!
Par votre hôte: Linda Znak
Date: lundi 6 avril 2009
Heure: 9h 00 - 10h 00 (GMT+00:00)

Lieu: Hello Dearest,

Now hold on there a sec. Do we even know each other?

The reason why I have not found the love of my life is because the love of my life has not found me yet!

Well, you're onto a great solution: you mass-email thousands of people across the only known planet where humans live. The quality of man you will find among the recipients who believe you are interested in them should be the perfect match for your level of integrity. I'm sure once you find the right match with whom to share your special gift, you will both contribute greatly to the deep end of the gene pool.

I am a very positive person.

What happened? Lose an electron?

(That's just a joke.)

You'll like me. I am funny like that a lot.

Never give up until the plan changes.

Um... that is kinda what giving up is...

I am cheerful, kindhearted and responsible.

Like you need to tell me. I could sense your level of responsibility the moment I opened your e-mail addressed to thousands. Some of whom have women's names.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I do not have bad habits

except chronic personal myopia

and I am always a good company.

then may I just call you Ford from now on?

I like music and animals.

Have you seen Disney's Jungle Book?

I want to make this life beautiful!

Maybe it's time to 'fees-up on what you did to screw up your former one

I want an honest man to share quality time with enjoying life we live. I like to open doors, hold hands.

So in your former life, you didn't get to open doors and hold hands much? The two activities, while certainly essential to a healthy relationship are somewhat mutually exclusive.

I am looking for One Good Man who is looking for One Good Woman

Therein lies the problem. The men who respond to this spam solicitation are not looking for One Good Woman.

At least not for longer than an hour.

These kind of guys are looking for Many Good Women, and their standards are somewhat flexible.

My name is Linda, a pretty girl from Sierra Leone but lives in Dakar-Senegal.

Well, Linda, being a guy and all, of course I will just take your word that you are pretty.

Dakar? Hey, that's really far away. Were you thinking I should leave my job and family and all my friends here in America to join you there? Maybe you could send me your mailing address so I can zoom in on your house in Dakar on Google Maps. I'm pretty sure I can find it.

Am approaching you for a genuine friendship and a partnership I Got your contact through my serious searching for a honest partner,

They call your method "dredging" where I come from.

Don't get me wrong, I am still flattered.

Your contacts was so nice and i felt that we can be partners in my entire life, viewing your contact alone,

You must have seen an old picture. I wear bifocals, now

i see the source of my life and i know that coming to you will create a great happiness in my living ,so i felt we could start from friendship. Who knows, something greater may come up in time to come if you don't mind, for more of my introduction and to let you know more about my self.

How about I just empty my bank account and send it all to you now, so we can avoid all this needless chit-chat.

Tell me about yourself as you reply to this Email

To be perfectly Frank, I am looking for a woman who is really a man from Nigeria using e-mail address harvesters and the French installation of Yahoo to scam Americans out of their life savings.

We may be a perfect match.
Permit me to drop for the moment, i hope to hear from you soonest.

Yours Truly Linda
Well, Linda, feel free to drop for the moment. In fact drop for a lifetime. I'm flexible.

By the way, send me a picture of you in your finest Dakar disco wear.

I will send you a picture of me in a working on my car on front of the double-wide when I get back from Wal-mart.


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  1. Im Getting the same e-mail.... im going to go and let this run.. ill hand over some fake details.... and see what happens :)

  2. Oh dear my sister nearly got caught on one like this from a guy - (Nigeria of course - do they do anything out there other than be taught to scam the rest of the world!), We played it along up to the point where he wanted £5,000 due to work problems to be sorted before he could meet 'the light of his life' (sister) and money to go through WESTERN UNION - always Western Union isn't it? Needless to say we told him in no uncertain terms to shove his light of his life up where there is permanent darkness!!


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