Thursday, May 14, 2009

From Nina Douala

The Scam Letter

From: Nina Douala <>
Subject: From Nina Douala
Date: May 14, 2009 5:35:48 AM PDT

Dear One,

Good day I am Nina Douala.

So, is this a secret deal, Nina? I noticed you are using the e-mail address of Sandra Konne "110" in Japan, and that you have secured other Yahoo addresses in Japan, also, like that of some gal named Nina. I also notice you are sending this e-mail not only to me, but also to yourself. I am getting back to you, and suggest you also get back to yourself. I'm just trying to keep things tidy, yet can't help but notice this has all the markings of a secret mission.

Don't worry. I get it. This is secret... And you and I? — we're cool.

From Abidjan Cote d'ivoire, I wish to request for your urgent assistance in my investment plans in your base

How did you know I had a base? Your people are good. I have had a secret base on my Montana property for only a year or so... I thought it was well hidden, but maybe your people want to invest money with me to make it better hidden?

I could use the money. Do you know what I grow?

I am calling in respect of the transfer of money ($6.500,000) Six Million Five houndred thousand

Ha! I do that all the time. "Houndred thousand," "forty for" and "sebbendy sebben" are all easy mistakes to make. And I always get eleventeen mixed up with the number that comes before twelb...

united states dollars

Ummm... isn't that supposed to be capitalized?

only deposit in the bank by my late Father Mr Joseph Douala who was a wealthy Cocoa Merchant here in Ivory Coast.

I don't mean to sound like I doubt you, but how did your late father deposit the money if he was 'late?' Around here that means 'dead' and dead folk don't get around to the bank so often, given their condition.

I wish to invest this money in manufacturing and real estate management in your base,

Did we get our wires crossed somehow? I grow illegal herbs on a large property in the mountains of Montana, mostly covered with fishnet and leaves, and other forms of camo. Now if you want to invest in my 'product' then you need to address all your inquiries to my boss in Columbia, Juan Valdez who has a donkey, and they both like coffee.

this is because I inheritated an important sum from my late father who died in recent political crisis in Cote d'Ivoire here.

Cote d'Ivoire? I thought you said you were from the Ivory Coast. Make up your mind. Do I look stupid to you?

And another thing, $6,500,500 is not an 'important' sum of money. It's a frickin' boatload. Holy Moly! Do you know who I am? That's more than I make in a week!

Before the death of my father he informed me near his hospital bed at chu-teaching hospital, that he has saved the in one of the bank here in cote d'Ivoire with my name, and I have made every inquired to confirm the existence of the deposit.

Well, I am no doctor, but it sounds as though, since your father was in such bad condition, he should have been in the bed, not near it, and they should have been doing something other than teaching him how to chu if he was that bad off.

Nonetheless, I am glad he was able to inform you of the deposit, and you have verified its existence.

This money was been deposited for my social security and for fruitful international investment.That is why I need you to keep this transaction highly confidential and trustworthy person who will assist me to receive this money overseas for investment establishment purpose indurities and lucratives profitable ventures.

Hey, I am all over those indurities and lucratives. Seriously.

Do not, I repeat, do not invest in proclivities or monstrosities. They are not moving right now. Best to invest your money in my base.

I want you to send your full name so that I will go and submit it to the bank and I will officially make you my foreign partner and the bank here will endorse it and transfer the money to your bank account and I will appreciate it if you send me your direct phone number for easy communication.

Wow. Things are sure easy to get done there on the Ivory Coast. (By the way, is that where they make that floating soap?) I swear, if all I did was submit a name e-mailed to me and ask for $6.5 Million Dollars to be transferred, they would take me a way in a tight, backward bathrobe sitting in the front seat of the short bus to Loony Land.

But if you say so.

My full name is Terrence Kloth Boxers

Thanks and anticipating to hear from you immediately you recieve this mail.

It's "receive." Remember the rule: "I before E except after C, and in worlds with neighbors in the way."


God bless. Please you can reach me through my private e_mail address

Wow, yet another e-mail address. You get around. (wink, wink)

Yours Faithfully.
Nina Douala.

Please, the faithfully is all mine. Talk to you soon, when I am rich beyond my wildest dreams.

If you'd like to be notified by e-mail when a new Scam and Eggs post arrives, please subscribe to my Scam and Eggs newsletter. It's free and confidential. And there are other newsletters (art-related) that you may be interested in.

1 comment:

  1. Bwahahahahaaaaa!!!!! I cannot stop laughing at this!!!


Feel free to post a helpful comment.

But, please do not post the full content of similar e-mails you have received. It is appreciated, however, if you post a comment with the name, e-mail and company/address of similar spammers. Thank you!

(Posting full texts of e-mail you receive doesn't help with Google searches, since comments are not included in Google indexes.) If you post the whole e-mail, it will just be deleted when I get around to it. Thanks.

Including links that are not supportive of the content of the post will likely get your comment removed. Spamming will be deleted and reported.