Friday, May 8, 2009

Looking for Fun,Travel and Good Times.

The original scam letter

From: Ludmyla <>
Subject: Looking for Fun,Travel and Good Times.
To: <A long list of recipients, alphabetically arranged>
Date: Friday, May 8, 2009, 5:16 AM

My dear friend

Love is the emblem of eternity; it confounds all notion of time; effaces all memory of a beginning, all fear of an end.

Wow, that was just beautiful, I think. I'm not much of a deep thinker, but that sounded -- I don't know -- poetic? It sounds like you have a very big heart, and I don't mean like the enlarged heart medical problem.

Did you write that? You're deep.

Website: *******/ (edited)

I am beautiful, harmonious, very sexual, kind, cheerful person. I love children very much. Good company, kind people, animals and the nature are important to me. Very much I like to travel, learn new, to visit historical places, especially I love exotic places.

I visited your website. Wow you're like a model -- And I don't mean like in the miniature scale reproduction sense, rather like one of those pretty women that gets used by large companies to sell things like tools, batteries, cars, cigarettes and other stuff that one would not ordinarily associate with procreation.

By the way -- and I think I speak for most men -- the "beautiful, harmonious, very sexual" items are all pros, but the "I love children very much" and the "animals and the nature" comments might be cons. I dunno, maybe it's just me.

Also I like very much to sing, dance, float, go under a sail, I like to drive the car, I love speed, at the same time with pleasure I will drive on a bicycle, flied on a hang-glider.

Oh my gosh. You like to float? I haven't found a girl who liked to float since I broke up with my girlfriend Linda back in the 70s.

She hated pea soup, by the way. It always came up.

And, being an avid water sports kind of guy (when I'm not watching reality shows at 2am on MTV, of course) I like to go under a sail, too. Nothing beats the ol' going under a sail!

We have a lot in common, you and me. And I don't mean common in the homely people sense.

I, too, have been known to, on occasion, drive on a bicycle or two, but usually when backing out of a driveway without checking behind my truck first. You're the first girl I have ever heard of that actually likes that. Maybe me and you could do that together sometime.

I don't want to screw up our relationship, but I have to admit I have never flied on a hang-glider. Flieding makes me a little nervous.

I love rather an extreme.

I know what you mean. Me, too.

I am very friendly person, love dialogue, not the disputed person.

Well, I notice from your picture that you would be a very good mother to any infant (or two, if not more), so really, between you and me, the friendly dialogue thing is not the priority.

I am not the disputed person, either.


I love and be able is tasty to prepare dishes of any kitchen of the world.

So, you make nice crockery? Can you fashion steins like the ones in Oktoberfest in Germany?

I like beer a lot.

By the way very much I love flowers, gifts with all the heart, attention and pleasant surprises!

You love flowers. Well, there's my big surprise for the day... an attractive women who likes flowers.

I'm just kidding.

I do that a lot.

Well, I have a pleasant surprise for you: I would like to marry you, and if you want, I will send you $10,000 to get your affairs in order and buy a plane ticket over to my house in the Mojave area of California. The climate here is always the same. You will love it.

Can I trust you?

So long

Wow... that was quick. Over before it began.

I'm shocked, and I'm hurt.

Well, it was nice while it lasted. Thanks for thinking of me, and so long to you, too.

I will miss you. And not like the throwing a rock but not hitting you sense.

Always here, eating Cheetos,

Brian (not to be confused with brain).

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  1. This sounds like a lovely Czech girl. She just wants what you want. My brother is dating one of these.

  2. I needed some laughs while I write an article on scams. Thanks, David. You are one funny, multitalented guy!


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