Wednesday, November 5, 2008

New Job Offer

The Original Scam Letter:

From: Marcus Simon
Date: Wed, Nov 5, 2008 at 8:39 AM
Subject: Job Advert.
To: undisclosed-recipients


This is to inform you that Children Support foundation is interested in offering you a part-time paying job in which you will earn about 3000 US Dollars per month.This job will act as an extra income for you if you are employed. The foundation has been in existence since August 2008 and aims at saving the life of children with heart and kidney problems around the world. We also ensure we work with the best professionals in all fields so that we save as many children as we can. As the Assistant director of the foundation, I am ensuring that we work so hard to save all the children with heart and kidney problems in the world.

We were just granted a funding to head a charity support project in the tropical regions of the world regarding surgical issues related to heart diseases and provision of basic amenities in support to humanitarian services to the third world nations and this would be commencing very soon. However, our funding were by our American associates that assist us by sending us payments and the foundation is in need of your help as our Payment Representative. All you will be doing is to help us receive and process payment on behalf of the foundation. After receiving the payment,you will have it cashed out at either your Bank or a check cashing centre and will have the funds transferred to the Accountant information as instructed by the firm. Once you have processed the payment, you will deduct 10% of the actual amount received and you will have the rest transferred as instructed. The 10% you will be deducting from the actual amount recieved is your service charge for helping the Foundation have the payment processed. Please note that the Money transfer charges will be deducted from the foundation's 90% balance.

I will like to know if you are interested in working with the foundation because we have limited spaces left open for now. We would also be glad to inform you that is a very limited offer in which it requires your immediate response. I will be hoping to hear from you soon. You will also stand the chances of being a part of our future and the excellence of an Institute in which you will be highly appreciated.

I would be glad if you accept our proposal and we intend to commence on starting as soon as you are ready. If you are interested, i would want you to please kindly fill your details below, so that we can start ASAP.


Marcus Simon.
Children Support Foundation
London, SE233YP.
United Kingdom.

My Response:

Dear Mr. Simon,

I am delighted that you have chosen me for this part-time job as a Payment Representative, a job which pays $3000/month.

There are a couple of concerns I have which I would like to get out of the way first.

1). I notice you sent this letter to "undisclosed-recipients" which leads me to believe that you are offering this part time job to others and so I want you to know that I WANT THIS JOB. I AM THE MOST QUALIFIED. DO NOT GIVE THIS JOB TO ANYONE ELSE!!!!!

2). You said "this job will act as an extra income for you if you are employed." Are you kidding? I am unemployed, and living off government assistance. This would be great! I could really use $3000 extra a month, but I certainly don't want to be employed. Does that cancel your offer?

I currently live in Section 8 housing with my girlfriend's 6 children (well, we think one of them is mine, but no matter -- we still get a good check from the government for each of them, and the amount for each child should be going up now that the US has a liberal-stacked government coming up and they start taking more money from those rich people who don't deserve to keep EVERYTHING they work for!)

I have an idea: Please send me a list of the names and addresses of the kiddos that have heart and kidney problems IN MY AREA and I can also offer them jobs. My girlfriend and I are already doing pretty well in our little business decorating Lance Armstrong bracelets (those yellow bands people wear on their wrists to raise awareness for cancer in a sensitive area or something). Anyway, we have the kids hot-gluing rhinestones to them for 'extra bling.' We pay them upwards of $1.57 a week, and we could DEFINITELY use some more help. These sickly kiddos could be quite an asset, because THIS WORK CAN BE DONE FROM A HOSPITAL BED or even an IRON LUNG.

Are you getting the BIGGER picture here? More money for all of us!!!! (Except the kids)

Seriously, let's make this work, because I am tired of all the business going to China. They don't pay their child workers very well, and it just breaks my heart.

Lets get busy!


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1 comment:

  1. Hilarious! YOU are a bad man, and I Love it!!!! Good luck with it, and say hello to those kids of yours, or not. :)


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