Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Nine Hundred Million

The Original Scam Letter


Hello Sir/Madam

As you are probably aware, there are lots of financial crimes and scams going on worldwide especially via the internet. Many cases of money laundering are also being reported and it has been a big task to stop these nefarious activities. Most families have lost lives, homes and their hard earned wealth due to the high rate of frauds and scams that has been all over the the world. You are also probably aware of a Nigerian scam known as "419," which is mostly practised by Nigerians!

In other to bring to an end this wicked act and compensate victims, the Nigerian and United States of American Governments decided to set up the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) to collaborate with the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Washington D.C to fight these crimes.

Right now, US$900m (Nine Hundred Million United States Dollars) have been recovered from these fraudsters through our Intelligence network, and most suspects are still under our custody for proper investigations and trials. We are now paying compensation to identified victims of these crimes.

We are glad to inform you that you have been discovered to be a victim in the past and is therefore qualified for some compensation. The amount to be paid to you would depend on how much you lost to the fraudsters.

To file for your claim, kindly contact the Head of Verification Department.
Mr. Smith Terry,
Telephone No. +234-8077776399

with this information below for further clarification and screening after which part of this money will be sent to you through any means which will be convenience for you as stated.

Full Names:
Telephone Number
Marital Status:
Amount Scammed from you:

We are sorry for any inconvenience and distress that the fraudsters might have caused you in the past and promise to remedy such ugly situation once you have responded to this mail.

Mrs. Farida Waziri
Chairman, Economic Financial Crime Commission (EFCC)
Federal Republic of Nigeria

NOTE; Contact the verification office as you were instructed to the email above. This payment has a limited time frame for funds dispatch.

My Response

Dear Mrs. Farida Waziri,

I have to tell you that my faith has not only been restored in the government of Nigeria, but also in the scammers of Nigeria. Just when I thought no one in Nigeria had a drop of honest blood in them, I get this e-mail from you, and now my heart can rest.

You can double-check your records and you will see that the amount I was scammed out of was $85,500. And I mean "to the penny" (which is an expression we use here when trying to be financially exact, but probably doesn't mean anything to you if you don't have such a coin denomination, now that I think about it).

I am so grateful to finally get to recover the money I lost. My former friends have all left me, calling me names like 'gullible' (which isn't even a real word! ...seriously, look it up!) and telling me I fall for get-rich-quick schemes too easily.

Between being able to recover all or part of the $86,500 I lost in a so-called '419 scam' (I don't even dial 419 on my phone anymore!) and all the money I expect to come to my mailbox — in the form of about 50,000 envelopes addressed to me, each with $25 cash! when my name reaches the top of the mailing lists I bought for $25 each and sold to 2 friends and they told me they would do the same — my former friends will really think I am smart after all. I will show them.

This is not to take all the credit of course. I completely honor you for the hard work you are doing in recovering the money I lost. By the way, have I forgotten to say Thank You? Shame on me!

Thank You!

Believe me, after losing $87,500 in previous scams, I am all about getting my good reputation back. No more Mr. Stupid! No, ma'am, not me.

Let's get this thing rolling. (That's an expression we use here when your car stops before you get to your destination).

Below you will find my personal information.

I am taking a precautionary measure, following your lead. I am writing to you using an e-mail address that is not the same as the one I want you to write back to. That's pretty smart of you, and I can see how that proves you are not trying to scam me out of another $88,500 like the last people. You're just being careful.

I know my name and e-mail address do not match. That's the beauty of it. (That's an expression we use over here when we are trying to make an apparent error or flaw look like a good selling point. Think: Windows Vista)

My information follows. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Full Names: Knotta Sukker, Dave, Uhr Maggestie, and Nowitt Oll
Address: 12345 Any St., Anytown, NY
Country: USA
Telephone Number: 213.853.1212
Sex: Twice annually (in a good year, but that's personal, don't you think?)
Marital Status: Somewhat disappointed
Occupation: CPA and Private Investigator
Amount Scammed from you: $89,500

I hope to hear from you soon!

Mr. Knotta Sukker

If you'd like to be notified by e-mail when a new Scam and Eggs post arrives, please subscribe to my Scam and Eggs newsletter. It's free and confidential. And there are other newsletters (art-related) that you may be interested in.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Feel free to post a helpful comment.

But, please do not post the full content of similar e-mails you have received. It is appreciated, however, if you post a comment with the name, e-mail and company/address of similar spammers. Thank you!

(Posting full texts of e-mail you receive doesn't help with Google searches, since comments are not included in Google indexes.) If you post the whole e-mail, it will just be deleted when I get around to it. Thanks.

Including links that are not supportive of the content of the post will likely get your comment removed. Spamming will be deleted and reported.