Tuesday, November 11, 2008


The Original Scam Letter:

From: MRS JOY COLLINS mrsjoycollins@deaf.com
Date: Mon, Nov 10, 2008 at 6:24 AM
Subject: Yours in Christ

I am Mrs Joy Collins from London, I am 69 years old, I am deaf and suffering from a long time cancer of the breast which also affected my brain, from all indication my conditions is really deteriorating and it is quite obvious that, according to my doctors they have advised me that I may not live for the next two months, this is because the cancer stage has gotten to a very bad stage. I was brought up from a motherless babies home was married to my late husband for twenty years without a child, died in a fatal motor accident Before his death we were true Christians.

Since his death I decided not to re-marry, I sold all my inherited belongings and deposited all the sum of $12 million dollars with a Security Company. Presently, this money is still with them and the management just wrote me as the true owner to come forward to receive the money for keeping it so long or rather issue a letter of authorization to somebody to receive it on my behalf since I can not come over because of my illness or they get it confisticated.

Presently, I'm with my laptop in a hospital where I have been undergoing treatment for cancer of the lungs. I have since lost my ability to talk and my doctors have told me that I have only a few months to live.

It is my last wish to see that this money is invested to any organisation of your choice and distributed each year among the charity organization, the poor and the motherless babies home where i come from. I want you God fearing, to also use this money to fund churches, orphanages and widows, I took this decision, before i rest in peace because my time will soon be up.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Security Company. I will also issue you a letter of authority that will prove you as the new beneficiary of my fund. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein. Hoping to hearing from you soon.

Waiting for your reply get back to me.

Yours in Christ,

Mrs Joy Collins

My Response:

Dear Mrs. Joy Collins,

There are 2 things I must say, before I get into my response:

First, I want to thank you for such a wonderful gift. I am touched deeply that you would entrust $12 Million to my care. I know that this decision did not come easily to you; that you had to probably search long and hard for a person of my character who would not take some of the money for himself; that you could trust me with a sum of such enormity even though it would take me more than a year to earn that kind of money on my own.

And "B," my heart is filled with sadness over the circumstances of your unfortunate life. I noticed your e-mail address is coming from "deaf.com," so if there was any doubt that you might actually be deaf, that pretty much convinces me. I said, I AM CONVINCED! Sure, selling all the belongings in your inheritance and winding up with $12 Million is nothing to feel sorry about (you know, unless you could have used, like, eBay and gotten $50 Million instead), but that really stinks about all the other stuff in your life.

I cannot imagine what it must be like to have your brain affected by a breast, with or without long time cancer (and really, all cancer is bad, but I am led to believe by your letter that the 'long' variety of 'time cancer' is the worst). And then to find out that the doctors have told you you cannot live for the next 2 months... well, that's horrible. What will you do until then? There's a bar I can't go in for the next 3 months and it's driving me insane. But I suppose that's different.

As you must know through your thorough research, I am a biologist in the infertility industry, so you and I have a lot in common: You were 'brought up from a motherless babies home' and I work at one! What a coincidence! Most of the babies here are simply named, temporarily, "Petree001, Petree002" etc. but with the gift of a portion of the $12 Million, I may be able to convince the board to start naming them "Joy" after the transaction transpires. Sure, we make motherless babies, but that doesn't mean we don't have a heart. Also, I would be delighted to distribute some of the money to various churches here in the USA. The Branch Davidians are in need of a new facility due to an unfortunate conflagration that is loosely tied to a Janet Reno — coincidentally a babiless mother. Additional sums will go to the "Who's Your Daddy Foundation." I don't know much about them, but I like their name.

Anyway, I promise not to keep a dime for myself or spend any of the money foolishly. I may need to use a very small portion of the funds on a sort of Fund-Disbursing Headquarters... I was thinking a small 11,000 sq. ft. building on the coast of Malibu, CA would be nice. Additionally, new transportation would be great. The name Lexus is associated with fairness and generosity, so I would benefit from one of those. And a new wardrobe might be nice.

We can discuss the details later, but yes, let me assure you I would like to proceed.

In the mean time, you may want to transfer your money to a different Security Company if the one you have it all in is warning that someone wants to confiscate it from you. I am no financial genius, but this just seems like sound advice.

If transferring it to me seems like the best idea, let me know and I will get you my banking information.



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  1. Oh David, you do make me laugh, LAUGH! I keep scaring my cat. You are a wicked man, and I love it, keep up the good work mate.

  2. So funny I laugh out loud and keeps me amused for the rest of the day.

  3. A friend of mine has been sending me these outlandish responces to junk mail that you have been writing.With all the depressing things I read each day these are like a breath of fresh air.I can't tell you how much I am enjoying your hysterical wit and very clever writing.

  4. Very funny, very clever! In fact you are so good, that I wouldn't be surprised if you start getting scam, scam letters! Thanks for giving all of us a laugh and a smile!

  5. Hello-
    My name is Hillary and I am Annie Salness's niece. Annie introduced me to your blog the other day and I was in tears laughing over this.
    I look forward to reading you future entries.
    Thank you for the laugh.

  6. I just recieved this letter and I am sad to say it almost got me to tears, if it is real. I then decided to look up mrsjoycollins@joy.com online and I ran into your site. I really like your response letter and I was also going to respond to "Mrs. Joy" too and tell her I would be praying for her, I have concluded that wether there is a real dying Joy collins or a crazy psycho writing this particular scam letter they need our prayers! Even more so if it's a scammer!

  7. Hi David, i just got that scam email in my inbox so I searched Joy Collins of London on google and it led me to your site. Thank God. People like that scamming on other people like that. I like what you did. Awesome work.

  8. thank you David for the info. I searched the same thing and I was sent here. I had a feeling it was a scam.


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